Tuesday, March 29, 2011

All Women Are ****, All Men Are ****


"All women are sluts."

"All men are dogs"

"Women can fake an orgasm, guys can fake a whole relationship"

"Men tell the most lies. Women tell the worst lies."

"All a woman is interested in is money."

"All a man is interested in is pussy."

I think I'm finally sick & tired of all the finger pointing across the genders.

All my life, I've heard guys and girls say these things. And it's always been a tough pill for me to swallow.

If every guy is only about tapping that, then why do people get married? How do they tie the guy down?

If every woman is just about money, then why are there good women out there who support their men. Women who hold it down and earn respect from everyone?

I've come to the point where I really don't understand it anymore. I know a girl who actually had a very good man, and still allowed stupidity to leak out of her head & say "all men are dogs." What was even funnier about it was that her boyfriend heard her say it. I could see that it hurt him, but he just kept quiet. I wasn't the least bit surprised when I heard that the dude had dumped her a few weeks later.

When that happened, the silly child was then attributing her loss to the "evil nature of men". Refusing to understand that it was her losing attitude that made her lose a good thing. It was just easier to sit over a tub of ice cream with her ridiculous friends and bash at every living male creature.

Guys do it as well. Going around with that "women just want money" attitude. You treat a woman like she can be bought, & she'll either behave that way, or she'll leave you cos your money isn't important to her.

Don't get me wrong. I'm in no way naive.

I know some people have had bad experiences. I know some people have lost out & ended up with their hearts broken in multiple places. Till the point where they'd prefer a broken neck to another broken heart (Amir Sulaiman).

I'm not saying that the bad ones aren't out there. Believe me, I've seen my fair share of assholes.

I have a very good friend that has already said he's still gonna be sleeping about when he's married (the fact that he's my friend, doesn't make this attitude any less disgusting to me).

I've seen a girl walk out of her hostel, while telling her boyfriend on the phone how she can't come out cos she's got cramps, and come kiss (and later go home with) my friend who she'd just met that morning.

I know there are plenty messed up people.

But is everyone like that?

Should we make the entire populace of humanity suffer for the evil of some people, even though they may be in the majority?

And what's even more irritating, is when the person talking isn't clean themselves. Like when a girl that cheats on her boyfriend opens her mouth & says "all men cheat." Of course they do. With people like you.

By nature, I'm usually quite pessimistic. But I've learned that keeping this attitude never helps.

Yes, there are many messed up men and women out there. But approaching life with a defense mechanism ensures that not only do the bad people get locked out, but so do the good. 

It's a really bad thing when you've gotten so used to losing, that you give up all hope of ever winning.

A few years ago, I wrote a note on Facebook asking who started this whole chain of distrust among men & women. But now, I've come to realize that asking ourselves "whodunit" is really just a considerable waste of energy. So is judging everyone based on what someone else has done to you, or even worse, judging based on the experience of others.

We need to remember that to every rule there is an exception. Not every guy is a dog, and not every woman is a money grubbing slut. And constantly saying to yourself that all men are dogs, will eventually result in your life resembling a kernel. And living with the belief that all women are sluts will result in your life resembling a brothel.

I remember in "Why Did I Get Married?", when whatshisface told whatsherface: "you're so used to losing, you don't even realize you've won." Well, that's how I feel about all this.

Laide put up a post recently, called "What She's Thinking, What He's Thinking." It kinda painted guys in a really bad light. I took it P, and I was gonna write a response called "What He's Thinking, What She's Thinking.", to show that there was a flip side to the coin. But half way through, I realized that all I was doing was pointing fingers. And that really wasn't the point that I should've been looking at.

I guess that is where everything boils down to. There are a lot of assholes (male and female) in the world at large. But living your life thinking everybody's like that, will only have you consistently getting what you expect.

I don't expect you to accept every Tom, Jane & Kafayat without at least a pinch of salt, but try to keep in mind that there's still some good people left in the world, and don't chase them away or hurt them by poking your finger in their eye as you point out the evil nature of men/women. Or you'll lose out. We'll all lose out on the good we could win. Then what'll we be? Just a bunch of bitter men and women that'll pass on this doctrine of stupidity to out kids?

I most definitely hope not.

Posted via Blogaway on my Android® Device.

7 comments:

  1. I go through life believing and knowing no one is perfect...that s the easiest way not to die of heartbreak. been there, done that..
    Am not holy myself and i dont point fingers.
    i try as much to enjoy every relationship an if its not working,then bye.no grudges,no hatred.
    Good read..

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  2. You're one of the few Tuns.
    It may be tough, "but even the beauty of birth leaves its scars" - Amir Sulaiman

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  3. hey...so not all guys are dogs nor all babes sluts.
    but we live in a world where people like to learn from other pple's experiences, so the aggregate of all is what forms the general consesus. in plain English, no be our fault.

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  4. Its just another vicious circle, *sigh* keeping a positive mind, controlling what you attract and trying to do unto others as you want them to do to you always helps, and of course the Grace of God.....yes a relationship is something you should involve God in.

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  5. Men, Women...People. people are people. We are complex, but we are all ourselves and control our own actions. The sooner we realize this and accept it, the better. You can be whatever you want...I go out of my way to prove that not all men are the same, even to the point to refusing a plain and open plea for sex just to show the girl that the world does not begin and end in her pussy. (sometimes I regret that decision but hey...)

    If more people would hold themselves to higher standards and just exercise some measure of discipline and also stop criticizing others, maybe, just maybe we could start to break that vicious cycle...

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  6. True words Wole! Very true words...
    Sonia, Funmi ...well... *sigh* it's just frustration I guess... but we'll go on sha. The world will go on.

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  7. Hmm...nice post..

    I just have a problem with one teensy weensy itsy bitty little thingy like that...

    "To every rule there is an exception.." rule? RULE?? Seriously, when did being a slut become a rule??

    :D I'm just kidding. (y)

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