The Rant of An Angry Nigerian!!!

I'm sorry, but I think we Nigerians have our priorities all screwed wrongly. I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with giving to Haiti, but we have our own rather serious problems back home. Thousands of people have lost their homes, their jobs, their family members due to the riots in Jos! Shouldn't we be looking at sorting out relief for them? It just seems funny to me, that our own people are hungry and homeless and being killed!!! Yet we think we should be focusing on another country that has other nations giving them support. How many countries are even trying to help out the people of Jos in Nigeria?
But yet we Nigerians think it's a priority to go "Help Out Haiti"?!
Come on.
I think globalization has blinded us to the truth of things: how can a person give what he does not have? Even in the bible, when asked for alms, the disciple of Christ (his name eludes me at the moment) said: "Silver and gold I have not. But from what I have I give unto you." Even he realized that it was impossible to give what he didn't have. Let's look at all the nations giving to Haiti: America, England, France...countries where their GDP's are not down in the dumps. Countries that can budget $9 billion to their fire departments. Nigeria on the other hand, has none of this. I can bet that even after the earthquake, there's still electricity in Haiti. Nigeria hasn't been faced with ONE natural disaster (we thank God for that) yet we don't have power. We run around shouting lightupnigeria from pillar to post. And as far as being a nation that has no idea as to what priorities are (I even doubt our leaders know how to spell the word) Nigeria just takes the cake.
$1,000,000 donated to Haiti!!!
What the bloody hell??!!
We have people in the Niger Delta that can't get clean water to drink. Expatriates go to the Niger Delta, and all they have to do is carry a carton of Eva water, and the local beauties would lay themselves a their feet. Just so they can get clean water.
The city of Jos was just ravaged by violence. The Naira value of the damage is yet to be assessed. The value of the hundereds of lives lost, is unimaginable. But yet, our government thought it very expedient to give away a million dollars??!! While the people of this country starve?
Someone was talking about how peopl in Haiti are fighting for food. I'm wondering if that's such an amazing thing in Nigeria. There are still some parts of this country, believe it or not, where they don't even know what a hundered naira note is!!!
For the love of God! When do we start getting our priorities straight?!
Giving this money to Haiti, kinda brings to mind how some Nigerians, who won't have any money at all, will scrounge out the last vestiges of cash they have to their name, throw a wedding where people will come, eat, waste food, get drunk, and go home! The next day, digestion has taken its course, and all the plenty money that's been spent is in the sockaway (is that the right spelling?) Or in those dumbass buckets or fans that have been pre-branded. After this big spending, the couple will now have to start managing and scroungin around. All for what??!!!! So that some people would have good impressions about them?
I'm just sick and tired.
And then, there's a group on FaceBook- Operation Positive Nigerian Image- where they're trying to put together something to raise funds for Haiti (or something of that nature)...but yet, there's nothing on the group about helping Jos... Isn't that group supposed to be about helping Nigeria? Well, I'm not so sure I'm surprised. The admin of the group don't even live in Nigeria...
We need to get our priorities straight o... Before you can help others, you need to have things going on well for yourself. I mean, I understand the concept of givving and getting, but this is just ridiculous.
And I'm in no way against Haiti receiving help, but I honestly believe that with all the problems we have, Nigeria is in no position to be giving $1,000,000 worth of help.
I'm tired of ranting. I'm supposed to be reading for exams. Besides, this wasn't how I planned that my first blog of the year would turn out....
Take it easy folks.

The End of 2009...

Time has passed, things have changed. The sun will keep rising and d moon will continue to provide light at night. And as we close our eyes and open them, we realize that not only a day has passed but a new one has come. The beginning of a new day suddenly brings forth a new year...

A new year which we may not be ready for. For are we really ready to let go of the past? To look back on the sucesses and failures of the previous day, of the previous year? And as we hear in our hearts the beckoning of a future we cannot avoid, we realize that the past is just that; the past. So we have past the point where we dilly dally, and tally in hope that what we expected to happen may still come, but we run with hope, looking forward, we take the first step...

..The first step... We have to start by not making New Year resolutions. For a new year doesn't mean a new change? Do we have to wait 365 days to make a difference? Do we have to wait 12months to decide to change 'again'? Do we have to wait a whole year to make things better? The time to change is now...We are d voice of the future...

Besides...everyone knows that New Year resolutions are made to be broken!!! They're just a token of time gone by...a false attempt to attempt to try to make a change. A long range shot at a short range target. Why go so far, when what you want sits under your nose? It could tickle your toes and you still wouldn't recognise it. STAND UP!!! Like Dizzy Rascal said; fix up, look sharp!!!

...fix up, look sharp. Smile and be happy. Be grateful to God for making u experience a new year. Leave a good legacy for whether we like it or not, there's always someone behind walking in your every step, our every move, making the same mistakes we make...

So walk with care...make sure you admit your mistakes to the one who'd learn from you. 'Cos mistakes forgotten are usually repeated. And for those waiting for you to make those mistakes, well...screw 'em. They don't matter anyways. So smile and be happy. Live life like its golden. Hold your girl/man's hand. Stand in strength, and if you fall, get your ass back up. 2010...

...2010... Let's all come together and make that change in this generation. For what we do now is what the generation we create will come to meet... 2010, the year of a positive change. Happy new year people...

By The Capoeira Panda and Olamide Odukoya...

 

2009

Hey 2009.

I must honestly say, you've been a very different sort of year. You've brought things into my life which I didn't expect, and things that I didn't think would be leaving anytime soon... I've said my good-byes to, and I guess they're gone.

 

2009.

When you first began, I didn't exactly lay out a lot of plans, didn't write a seven point agenda of what my life in you was gonna be like, there was no plan to give a 100 day progress report. All I knew was that when you came to an end, I'd have achieved a few things, and I guess some of them...I have.

 

I'm a bit closer to God than I was a year ago, and I think I've learnt about my dependence on him...

 

I've lost a little bit of weight, and my capoeira's better than it used to be.

 

My grades in school aren't too shabby... [Real thanks to God for that]

 

I'm getting to understand that cantankerous old man I call my father, just a little bit better...and to me, that's a heck of an achievement.

 

"She" and I are concretely where we need to be...

 

My friends, are still very important to me, and I think I'm just as important to them [I'd start mentioning names, but I know I'll forget to mention someone and get yelled at, so I won't call names. They sha know themselves....But, I absolutely have to give a shout-out to some of the new friends that you brought into my life 2009. Like Tolu Aiyegbusi, Dammie Adetunji [my BlackBerry], Tosin Owonibi, Melody Alabi, Yoyin Banks....

 

Ahhh....2009....2009...

Through the good and the bad, in you I've grown. My eyes have been opened, and in some ways, my heart has been closed. I've learned to live and let live, and to love without caring; there's nothing worse than losing a love because other people can't accept it. I've learnt to accept the good; I've learnt to concede my faults. Defeat doesn't mean I've been beaten, and I'll grind hard till I get what's mine [big ups Andre Blaze!!!]. Not everyone is worth the time you take out to worry about them, and holding on to anger over those kinda people is totally ridiculous. I've learnt [and I'm trying put into practice] that the truth is actually the best thing to tell. As Aurora Monyei always tells me; "The worst a person can do to you is beat you for telling them the truth".

 

2009.......

I've found strength I never knew I had, weaknesses that I thought were non-existent.

I've found my City Love, and believe me...She is crazy...Not Like Crazy kinda crazy but... You get the point...

 

2009.....

We had a good run 2009. But then, all things must come to an end. I hope I'll have an even better time with 2010, than I had with you...

 

Goodbye, 2009....

This is what boredom does

It's been a while since I put up a blog. And I know I should have a lot more to write, but I think I've been too busy to let my thoughts materialize themselves.

Anyways, I went jogging one morning very recently, and when I got back, I had a lot of questions that didn't make sense running through my head... So I decided to write them down... I don't have a reason for writing this... It just came out the way it came out.

 

If I sat on a street corner, shedding tears till I shed weight,

Would you walk on by, or stop and ask what brought about this fate?

 

If I was a soulful ballad, to opportunities long lost,

Would you listen to me and learn?? Or change the track and tell me to get lost?

 

If I was the song "I Am Not Afraid" by that lady Jill Scott,

Would you listen to me and learn to love, true and through?

 

If I was that lady with no legs, sitting near Daystar Christian Centre and you were passing by,

If I pleaded with you for alms... tell me, what would you do???

 

If I was a glass of white wine, filled halfway through,

Would you vex and call me half empty, or sip and say half full?

 

If I was like Amy Winehouse, hopelessly hooked on crack,

Would you try to help me get better, or give up and let me fade Back To Black?

 

If I was a sexy saxophone, played from the lips of John Coltrane,

Would you still rush about doing irrelevant stuff, or sit still and hear me played?

 

If you said you loved me, but I wouldn't say it to you,

Would this make you hate me, or respect me for not lying to you?

 

If I whispered in your ear, the things I'd like to do to you,

Would your mind explode, or would you calmly tell me things you'd like too?

 

If I the 31^st of December, 2009,

Would you look at me and wonder, just what you did with all 2009?

 

If I was a blind man, going down a path,

would you go outta your way just to make sure I never stray??

 

And that's what I was thinking that morning. Anyways, I think sometime today I'll take time out to write again... But for now...

B. E. Z people!

O!!! By the way, Happy Birthday to the most important human being in my life... My girlfriend, Kemi Oluboba...

In A State Of Boredom....

Ahhh.....

I’m bloody exhausted!!!! Capoeira is a really difficult martial art you know.....

Anyhow, the last few weeks have been rather interesting. So much has been going on in the world at large. Nigerians have been making so much noise over the Sony Playstation 3 advert, and the District 9 movie. What do I think of all this?? Well, I do think that the Sony ad was directly insulting, and that they should not have done what they did. I’m glad Dora Akunyili was able to sort that out.

As for District 9, here’s the basic rundown. Apparently, after the aliens landed on Earth, the people discovered that they were in love with cat food. And so, the Nigerians started selling cat food to them in exchange for alien weaponry. Also, they were running an inter-specie prostitution ring, in order to figure out how to use the alien weaponry because they needed to figure out how to use the alien weapons which would only respond to alien DNA. Well, I do think it was insulting? No, not really. Do I think the general Nigerian populace is making a big fuss out of nothing? Yes, I do. I think that any Nigerian that says they take offence at all that was said, is a total hypocrite. I mean, we all know that Nigerians could sell refrigerators in the Arctic!!!  Why is it so inconceivable that Nigerians could have been selling cat food to the aliens???!!! And then, Nigeria is known for its international prostitution rings, selling girls and children into sexual slavery, and whatnot. I think that our cry of outrage is comparable to Black Americans, who call themselves “niggas”, but are offended when white people call them that. Or like when we ALL danced to Olu Maintain’s Yahooze, which celebrates yahoo yahoo, but when there was this big show which showed Nigeria in a horrible light in relation to scamming, we all screamed out blue murder. It’s all so hypocritical. South Africans aren’t making noise about the movie, and how MNU was supposed to be a South African company, and all of that trash (for those who don’t know, District 9 was made by Peter Jackson, a big time American producer. He’s the dude who did The Lord of the Rings). I mean, the people who they called the “Nigerians” didn’t even speak any language remotely from Nigeria. They didn’t even behave in anyway Nigerian, but that’s beside the point. And as for all the talk that Nigerians are not the only ones who engage in shady activities, who really cares??? At the end of the day Jackson could have picked anybody. Like I said, I feel that the only reason we're making all the noise in the world is because some foreigners said something bad about us, which is hypocritical because we say the same bull about ourselves all the time. We even have songs that celebrate it all (sing along: maga....don pay...)The only thing that I thought was a direct slur at Nigerians was the fact that the leader of the group was called “Obasanjo”. Not that I don’t think that baba is a shady individual to put it lightly, but Jackson should have respected the fact that Obasanjo is an ex Nigerian president. But that’s my own opinion sha.

Moving on, things have been somewhat interesting, El Roi Desserts had a cake sampling session on Sunday the 27^th, I didn’t know so many people like AWOOF!!!! Kofo was there!!!! So was Laide!!!!! Kai!!!! But on the real though, it was really good. Everyone loved the Irish Cream Chocolate Cake (Bloody alcoholics!)!!!! And the Red Velvet cake was something new, I don’t think anyone there had ever heard of it, but it was really good. Everyone was asking when the next one would be. I’ve heard from a very reliable source, that another one should be coming up either at the end of November, or very early in December. I’ll let you guys know how that goes sha.

I was reading online, that Hugh Jackman stopped in the middle of his Broadway performance last night, because a phone in the audience rang. Now I have to wonder, what the hell is wrong with celebrities this month???!!! First Kanye West, now Hugh Jackman?? I mean, even Nigeria couldn’t be left out, hence P-Square’s walk out at the Arthur Guinness Show last week!!!! Na wa o!!!! I think me self, I should stage my own big publicity stunt. Maybe, I’ll go to White House in Sabo to eat, and refuse to pay!!!! That should get my adoring fans talking......

Did you guys hear about the baby born in Indonesia that weighed in at 9.2kg???!!!! Good God!!! That kid is massive! He had to be delivered by C-Section. My dad asked “how did the woman even carry a child that heavy???!!! We had a good laugh about it. Well, apparently, the mother was eating foods with too much glucose in them, thus supplying the baby with too much glucose. Resulting in his monster size!!! His name is Risudeen The Great!!! Definitely a “great” child!!!! Lol! His doctor said he’s just a greedy little guy, always eating and all. The newspaper in which I read it wasn’t even nice about it. They took a picture of a regular baby, and put it next to a picture of Risudeen. The baby boy (Risudeen) looked like a MAMMOTH!!!!

Anyways, I don’t really have so much to talk about right now...I guess I got itchy fingers, so I decided to do a bit of blogging.

 Well, I’m off to bed (it’s a lie o! I want to do “I love you, talk your own” with madam for a bit...lol)

Later!

WAEC Failure 2009!!!! Whose fault is it???

*taking a deep breath*....

Okay folks, I just read someone’s status update, and I’ve decided to do a little chat on that.

Word has it, that in the recently released WAEC/NECO examinations (I’m not precisely sure which one), 75% of the students who wrote the exam failed in Mathematics and English Language. Which goes to say, that only 25% of the thousands of students who wrote WAEC this year, were able to get the 5 credits (inclusive of Maths & English) required by universities in Nigeria (and indeed, worldwide). So, only that 25% will have a shot at entering university this year.

What seems to be the problem here? Someone would ask; is it the students that are either lazy or retarded? Or are the teachers lazy and incompetent? Or is WAEC making the exams too hard these days? Or is there sha a problem in the government somehow or the other?

This is something that I want you people to please comment on so that we can all talk about it. But first, I’d like to give my take on the issue.

First of all, we have the students. Now, being a dude that was once a student as well, I can tell you in all total confidence; that the majority of Nigerian students are downright lazy. You might ask what gives me the right to pass such judgement. Well, I was a very lazy student in secondary school. Totally and utterly lazy, (I changed my ways when I got into Uni though) failing my way through secondary school. And in all truthfulness, most of us were like that. I can honestly say that out of all of us in my class, and other classes that I observed, maybe 8% of them were actually taking school work seriously. So, by that analogy, if 25% of the people actually passed, I’d say it’s not that bad. It could actually have been worse.

As for the teachers, a good number of teachers in Nigeria are incompetent. That is true. But I don’t believe that is the case with the majority. The majority are actually competent. They know what they are doing, and they attempt to properly impart knowledge to these kids whom they stand in front of to teach (big ups to our teachers), but like I was telling my sister this morning; you can carry a donkey to the river, but after trying and trying to get it to drink water unsuccessfully, in the end it’s going to die of thirst by itself. The ones who are incompetent though, really are. And not only do they not teach our kids anything, but when examinations like WAEC come up, they actually encourage them to cheat. So yes, they deserve part of the blame as well.

WAEC. Are they making these exams harder? I have no idea because after my WAEC, I never looked at another one of their question papers again. But I do know that when it comes down to handling marking and proper coalition of results, WAEC in Nigeria is utterly described by the word incompetence. They do not handle those who mark the scripts well, they don’t pay them properly, they don’t treat them properly...and when you don’t pay a person well, what makes you imagine that the person will do a good job? In fact, I learnt from a private source, that the reason for 2008’s mass failure in WAEC, was because of WAEC’s stingy and corrupt nature. According to my source, WAEC officials, wanted to cut down on the already little amount they were spending to get the scripts marked. So to cheat our markers in Nigeria, they decided to carry the scripts to be marked in Ghana. But alas!!!! When they got to Ghana, they found that things in Ghana were better organised than in Nigeria. They would have to pay the Ghanaians by the hour (instead of per script like they would in Nigeria) at a rate which would cost them far more than it would back home. Even worse for WAEC Nigeria, they would have to put these people marking the scripts in hotels until they finished marking the scripts (i.e. they would have to provide them with accommodation and feeding)!!!!

Being the Nigerians they are, they decided to high tail all those scripts back to Nigeria. Now, here’s where kasala decided to bust. While transporting the scripts back to Nigeria by road, there was an accident, and a lot of the scripts were lost or destroyed (all na same for my eye). So instead of taking responsibility, WAEC Nigeria instead, just gave these students “Missing Result” or “F” or whatever it is they said. So, my question is; what actually happened this year???

As for the government, who always refuse to pay teachers properly, or give a proper standard for the schools to follow, I really think they deserve some beating as well.

So that’s what I think. What do you think???

A Leave Kanye (and some others) Alone Rant!!!

NA WA OH!!!!!

I’ve been hearing a lot of stuff, and reading a lot of stuff about Kanye West and his drunken mess up at the MTV VMA Award show last night. Apparently, the brother showed up to the awards, drunk out of his mind on some Hennessey, and in the middle of the show, stopped this country singer (Taylor what’s her face???) while she was supposed to be giving an acceptance speech after receiving an award, to say that Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video was the best video of the year (lo and behold, Single Ladies did win best video). Anyways, everyone is lamenting at how his behaviour was disgraceful (which it was) and how he should be ashamed of himself (which he should be) and such other things along that line. Kanye on the other hand, made a press statement this morning expressing deep regret for his actions, and apologizing sincerely for misbehaving the way he did.

Is that not enough for you people????

I don’t understand what everyone is getting their panties all in a bunch for. Will you people leave Kanye alone??? I'm not saying what he did was right, or that showing up to the awards drunk was an excuse. But come on!!!!You guys are acting like it's the first time a big celebrity has screwed up. What gives you the right to judge him??? Like none of you has messed up at some point in your lives...

Now, I’m hearing that some people are saying that fans should boycott anything that has to d with Kanye West. That seems totally ridiculous to me. Honestly speaking. And some other fanatics are complaining because some people on facebook use his picture as their profile picture. I mean, some babe was actually chastising my man Godwin Tom for using Kanye’s pic as his profile picture. What is wrong with you people??? Will you people be satisfied if...I don’t know, maybe if he was sent to jail???? At some gig like this at Fantasy Land in Ikoyi some years back, when Olisa (of Cool F.M) came on stage drunk and was insulting people, did you Lagosians make as big a fuss then as you are now with Kanye??? Decades ago, when Mary J. Blige and KC (from KC & Jojo) were in a relationship, and KC used to beat the hell out of her, did Americans complain then???

I think you guys need to relax. I remember when Chris Brown and Rihanna had their big issue. And everyone was going on and on about how people should boycott Chris, and this and that, and it looked like the kid’s career was coming to an early end. The question that I asked when I heard that he had hit her was; What happened???? Don’t get me wrong. I would NEVER support a man hitting a woman (my mama raised me really well). But in the spirit of being objective, what would make a 19 year old boy, known halfway across the world, hit a woman who is even more famous than he is, hard enough to leave a horrid bruise on her face, on the day she was supposed to perform at the Grammies (it was the Grammies right???)??? A woman whom he supposedly loves. Why would he do something so stupid??? Does Chris Brown seem like the stupid type??? I really don’t think so. So, what did this babe say to him, to push him over the top??? It’s well known that women can say some really hurtful stuff when they’re angry, and you can only push a man so far before he snaps. So what really happened??? Unless someone with first hand info can tell us what happened (such as Chris or Rihanna) it was my opinion; that people needed to shut the hell up. And forgive the boy, instead of giving him such a hard time.

Back to Mr. West.

I’m not saying what he did was right. In fact, if I were his mama, I’d slap him across the head. But that would be it. All this behaving like nobody can screw up is just messed up.

Come on....everyone screws up. Let it go. Like a friend of mine always says; “Shit happens. That’s why there’s toilet paper”.