The High Horse Called Judgement.

A few years ago, in one of the many wisdom enriching conversations I've had with a particular friend of mine, he told me that he'd finally understood why his old man had cheated on his mom. At that point in time, I thought he was out of his fricking mind. I mean, the idea of cheating on a partner just seemed so absurd to me. I thought I was in a position where I could judge. I had this self righteousness thing going on, where I was always saying that i could never cheat and all that...

A few years down the line, and two or three girlfriends later, (not like I consider any of my exes as just numbers, in fact, they've each had a special place in my life, & I still mourn the loss of Tutu...) any ways, I've still never cheated on a girlfriend, & I still maintain that it's wrong. But I've come to realize that, it's not easy. Nothing is ever as simple as we make it out to be.

Someone told me once, that when she was much younger, in secondary school and stuff, that she never had any qualms about doing the right thing. Like, it was never even an argument. It was always just a natural instinct. I've seen that person in a dilema. Where she's had to be begged to do the right thing.

*sigh*

Point in case, I've realized that we can never look on our selves as being better than anyone. For any reason whatsoever. I saw a younger friend of mine doing something that was totally unfair to a female friend of mine. And I thought to myself, "that is so fricking selfish. This boy has disappointed me". But this weekend, I found myself in that same position with another girl. And, it took a lot of talking to myself, & a lot of talking to other people who would possibly have an influence on the decisions I make, to put my head in the right place so that I wouldn't let my body make decisions for me, and ruin a friendship that has taken quite a long while to craft properly. And I'm not saying that what I'm doing right now is the right thing, but at least I've made the effort to be honest to this girl, and lay out all the cards. But! I've also realized, that in the case of this my young friend, that it was simply easier for him to just think about himself. It was simply easier.

I wrote in one of my previous blogs, that the fact that I see that there is something fundamentally wrong in the way we human beings do our things, and the things we accept as normal practice, the fact that I see this puts me on a higher echelon than the average human being. I still think that is the truth. & I still believe that, even though I can see it, my inability to figure it out makes me human. That, I've come to see more clearly.

We're all human beings. Never judge people, 'cos you never know what you would do if you were thrown in that situation. Never say, "O! I could never do that!" Or "What is (s)he thinking?! That's just so wrong!!" Or anything of the sort. 'Cos you never really know if it can happen to you.

I guess, as for me, I'm gonna keep trying to maintain myself. I'm gonna keep trying to stay on that upper echelon. But now, I can see the bottom. I can see how easy it would be to fall. So I'll ba a bit more careful.

No one said that because you're on an upper echelon, you have to stay on a high horse....abi?

Location : Kosofe, Lagos,

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