Christmas Abi?

Yes, it's Christmas. So fuck what?

Ok, that's probably not a good way to start. I mean, it's the day of the birth of the Baby Jesus. And if you actually believe that, then you have a serious problem. December 25th was not the day Jesus was born. In fact, I don't imagine that anyone alive knows exactly what date he was born. The 25th of December was simply picked by the Roman Catholic church to mark his birth.

Ok, so it's a day to "mark" the birth of Jesus. Fine then, let's move on.

Today's been quite irritating for me. Some would expect that I'd be all ecstatic cos it's the first Christmas in 10 years that my mom's gonna be around for Christmas, but honestly? Everyone, & by everyone I mean everyone, is irritating me. From my old man to my sis. They're all pissing me off. Honestly, all I would like right now, is to sit with a few friends, smoke some really good weed, have a few laughs, & be happy.

But maybe that's just me whining. I know that there's people that would kill to be me right now. So I'm definitely grateful for what I've been given. But I am also quite human. So forgive me if my attitude is shitty.

I stopped saying "Merry Christmas" a few years ago. At some point, I realized that saying that was just a bloody lie, cos honestly, ain't nothing merry bout these last few Christmases...so these days, I say "Christmas to you". You want anything more?? I can help you find a transformer to hug.

Anyways, dinner's in a couple of hours...hopefully, I'll be able to get some pot for my cousins & I to have a lil after dinner bake.

So, good reader, Christmas to you. Hope you got what you wanted for Christmas (I didn't get shit).

Nighttime Reflections…

So….today was…interesting.

I think today was probably the most indecisive I've had in a long time. So, originally, my plan was that I'd go to that whole Lekki/Ajah area today; I'd go to Le Beau's office to say hi & pick him up, then we'd go visit Angulu, who I hear is real sick. Then I'd drop off Le Beau at his office & go to Phase 1 to meet up with Kite, go say hi to my friend Eniola (who I haven't seen forever), and the we'd all go meet up with Serial Licker & share a joint together… that, was the plan (quite a lot of things abi??)

But then I woke up this morning, & I remembered that it was Lekki I was planning to go to. One word: TRAFFIC!!!! So, as I get outta bed, with another plan: Lekki, on Saturday. Today, I'll go get a haircut & chill with the fellaz, so tomorrow I can hang out with Maggie…

So I call Maggie & ask her if we're seeing tomorrow & she says she can't make it, how about Saturday? Okay to be honest, we'd already agreed on Saturday, but I was just trying to wyne her into coming tomorrow. So I figure, well, I'll shift Lekki till next week & see Maggie on Saturday. So I'm still gonna hit Ikeja today.

Next thing, Little Vixen sends a DM asking when we're going on a date….and just like that, this Panda that has been complaining that he's broke, is making plans for a movie & ice – cream… when Maggie called & I told her I was at Ozone, I was honestly as surprised as she was…

Speaking about my date, that's the first date I've been on in God knows how long. Little Vixen & I get along quite well over the phone, so I wasn't surprised that we got along in person. We started out by playing some video game - Mortal Combat VS DC (Beautiful combat game by the way) – where I totally kicked her ass. I had to let her win one round…you know…just to be a gentleman (chai, if she should read this blog I'm in trouble!) but the fact that she actually plays video games, and combat games and all is such a huge turn on for me…it's so crazy…

So we go get our tickets, she wants to see the new Harry Potter movie. That's aight. I wanted to see Tangled though… :-D… So we watch the movie, & it was cool…we were all cozy & stuff….

Mehn…giving a minute by minute narration of a date is work o! Me I'm tired joh! The point is sha that I enjoyed it! Wouldn't mind going out with her again. & since she said the next one is on her, I'll definitely take her up on that.

So yeah….I had a good day. Despite my whole bit of indecisiveness. It was really fun hanging out with Little Vixen. She's a touchy, feely person like me so there was no weirdness….anyways, I had a good day up until….*sigh* I'm not going to talk about it. I don't see the point in talking about something that's past, & cannot be changed. What's done is done.

Anyways, I just thought I'd do a lil' "Dear Diary" bull shit…I need to work on memorizing a poem I'm supposed to do at Chill & Relax on Sunday… let's get to it!

After a Minute

It's been quite a bit…

I've written a few blogs which I'd planned to post up, but they all seem so past tense to me. Maybe if I'd taken my time out to put them up as they were happening, it would have been alright. But well, let's move on to the present. There's no better time than that is there?

So, what's been going on? This weekend was a very….eventful one I should say… starting off with Saturday, I finally got my tattoo. It's my mom's name, inked across my left wrist. Thanks a lot to Dawn for that birthday present…. But of course, that story has a bit of K leg…. Thanks to my friend Kite, I got really, really high on Friday night. Yes….really high. So high that, when I went to get my ink done, I totally forgot to tell the dude precisely how I wanted it done. So….it's not like I don't like it. It just looks….somewhat outta place. Vanity said she doesn't like it. She thinks it's messy… and while she may be right, perfection isn't as important to me as is the reason for the tattoo, which is my old lady. I will be getting a lil' something added to it though. Something to give it a bit more structure…. & yes Vanity, I will be using a different guy this time…As soon as I can find the extra cash for it, it'll be done. And no, I won't be putting up a pic of it till it's all done and healed properly.

Moving on…… Saturday night came, & with the late night came things I didn't expect. Discussions regarding my behavior and manner of conducting myself, and discussions about my total lack of regard for her feelings. Then came the question which I didn't expect to hear, and with the answer that came out not to harm, but to be truthful, came a torrent of pain and emotion.

What was I expected to do? Stay in the same place? That really couldn't happen. So I'm trying to move on as best as I can. To cut off ties to the memories and thoughts that keep me awake at night and leave me unhappy, close to tears, missing that which once was. That which was taken from me without even prior notice; one minute it was there, the next minute my heart was splintered all over the floor between the doors of my hostel dorm & my neighbor's door. I did, I have done, & I still do what I can to struggle through. Having to place a cold box where my heart should be just to stay alive and looking for anything to fill up a soul gone hollow with the evaporation of faith in everything beautiful…

But I don't need to explain myself. In fact, I won't. I gave a lot of warnings, I guess now the realization comes to bear. I don't even mind if I'm hated if it'll help her move on. All I want is that she does. Cos, me and her, I don't see it anymore. I wish I did, but I look at me, and the changes is my life, the changes in my perceptions and expectations; and then I look at her, and realize that she's still that same person. She still shoulders the same responsibilities, still wants the same things…it wouldn't work.

Took a while for me to finally come to this conclusion… *sigh*…so now I'm just trying to do me. I don't want anything else. That's all. Nothing extra, no added preservatives, just me.

Does that make me unkind? Or unfair? Or uncaring?

A Step In The Right Direction

YES!!!!!!!

So, I finally submitted my proposal to my professor this morning…

After all my yarns about finishing it on time and all that shit, I still wasn't done with it by yesterday morning. Imagine the shock and horror I felt when I walked into class yesterday morning, and I saw my professor standing right there… the man had been outta town for two weeks, cos his elder brother died. So he ran out. That was what had been saving me cos I know that if he'd been around, I'd have gotten a good tongue lashing or two for not having it ready.

And the truth is that I'd have deserved it. I spent the entire weekend in Gidi, getting up to some good old nefarious activities, and pursuing carefree hedonism (all that is simply big English to say that I spent the entire weekend catching trips) and my back has the scars to prove it.

Anyways, so I show up to class, and he's there. So at the end of the class I mumble some story about not knowing that he'd be around, and I'd have it printed and on his desk by 11am the next morning.

Needless to say, I was gonna be awake quite late trying to finish up. So, I worked late, mixed up with late night, long chats with one cute lil' thing that I've been chatting with recently (quite a charming girl…pity I'm not accepting relationship applications for now), and I finished my proposal sometime around 3am…

I turned it in, half expecting him to send me back. But then, he starts reading, and he's nodding, making a few adjustments here and there, and then he goes "this is very good. You can move on to chapter 1."

HA!!!!!

So, after a quite interesting weekend, and this….I'm as happy as a puppy with two tails….

Big ups to Shawty, Khems and Le Beau for being so encouraging…I totally appreciate it…

Anyways…I just felt like cranking out a lil something…I have a couple of things I'm trying to write about. One's called "Female Mythology". It's about Nigerian women and the misconception they have about Nigerian men…the other…I don't know what it's called yet. I don't even know if it's prose or poetry…all I know is that it's quite angry, and it's about Nigeria… I might even write about the scare I got this weekend…

Gotta go now…I've got a class…

Peace, love and soul.

Taking a Break from Work

*DeepBreath*

YES! I know I have work to do, and this is quite an odd hour to be talking about music, but I'm too tired to do anything else, so I may as well be a bit constructive…abi???

So I've been listening to music. Yep…quite a few Nigerian artistes have caught my eye recently… Kas, Ms. Con.tra.Diction (I hope I spelt that right), Show Dem Camp, Airis….and quite a few other people. But, I'm gonna talk about Airis, Show Dem Camp, & Con.tra.Diction. Cos they've really impressed me recently.


Ladies first, so lemme start with Airis.

First off, lemme state that Airis is a very hot, half Nigerian, half Egyptian woman, so my judgment may be thrown off a bit by that fact that she's so hot, but I doubt it. When I first heard about her, I thought she was gonna be another good looking woman who imagined that her fine face would make everyone partially deaf so we wouldn't realize that her voice was a waste of time (especially with the way her debut single "Without You" kicked off).

Was I ever wrong.

She has a voice that reminds me of a person that spent a lot of time listening to Sade Adu, Madonna, and other legendary pop divas, but somehow or the other found time to listen to Yoruba songs when she was younger; producing this really sexily blended voice that is obviously international, but still manages to be Nigerian. Kinda like a girl who you can take to a big dinner with international guests and all, and then the next day you take her to see your grandma in your village, and she blends into both situations very well. Kinda like that.

Her debut single, "Without You" is really cool. Her voice comes off really well over the instrumental, accentuated quite well by the tambourines and drums. The tambourines gave the song a little Arabian/Egyptian feel to it, which is just as well since she's half Egyptian anyways. A part of the chorus is in Yoruba, which just made me fall in love with her singing even more. I also heard another of her songs called "Sick in Love" featuring Ice Prince, and "Fly Away" which I liked as well, but in all honesty, not as much as I like Without You… I hear her album "The AiRis Project" is scheduled for release in November. That isn't too far off, so I won't die waiting.


Onto some people that are a little more recent in terms of emergence, let's talk about Show Dem Camp (SDC).

Now, the first song I heard from these guys, was this crazy song featuring Lynxx called "You Dey Crase". I heard that, & I thought to myself "we may have something good here"…really cool, mixtape kinda jam. Punchlines flying left & right…& Lynxx killed his verse. I was happy. Then I heard "Farabale". Lemme be honest, I didn't really dig the first dude's rap, but I LOVE THE SONG!!!! I really don't know how to analyze it…the chorus reflected the way a lot of naija boys feel about chics who are just gold-diggers, and MayD has quite a good voice. I really think these guys are definitely gonna go places.

By the way, the tees they're wearing in this picture are from my cousin Tenne Fatona's clothing line DNA Genes, so big ups to him! Whoop whoop!!! (I digressed abi???)

If you haven't heard "Farabale" by Show Dem Camp feat MayD, here's a link for it. http://www.4shared.com/audio/nO3AWXyw/Farabale_-_SDC_ft_MayD.html


Let's go with Con.tra.Diction now…

First off, I've met her quite a few times, with those crazy ass socks she always wears, & I have to say, she's a darling psycho. I heard her song "Superstar", & my faith in the hope for alternative music in Nigeria was renewed. The instruments were on point, and her voice gives off that rock chic thing that rock lovers (such as me) really like. Throwing in a bit of Yoruba into the song (Oju l'oro wa) was a fantastic way of making sure we didn't forget that it was a Nigerian tune. All in all, a fabulous song! Con.tra.Diction seems like someone we're gonna be hearing quite a lot from in the future… In the intro to the song, if you listen to the voice in the background, you can hear her say "this is the diary, of a mad black woman." I hope that's gonna be the title of the album…seems quite befitting…

I hear she even has a band!!! That's just really cool. If I ever decided to sing publicly (yes, your Panda has a good voice) I'd definitely love to jam up with her…

Of course, here's a link for Con.tra.Diction's "Superstar" if you don't already have it… http://www.4shared.com/audio/YNlqY89g/SuperStar_CONtradiction.html



So, these are the artistes I'm loving right now…hope their albums are as banging as the singles they have out… Fingers crossed!

Gotta go now! I'm a bit swamped with work so…. I'll blog later okay???

BYE!!!

A Wack Weekend

Reader, hope you're having a good weekend so far...I'm not.

Wow...

I'm...swamped with work. So much work that I don't even understand where I'm supposed to start. I've been scared to even write about it cos...I don't know...maybe writing is one of the things that matters the most to me. And so writing about it would only make this problem even more real...so I've been putting it off. Trying to work on poetry/spoken word...but the blocks in my head don't seem willing to go down, or to let me jump over them to write any thing worthy of being called poetry....-although, I started writing something that I really like, and I have ideas for it...but I just seem to be stuck somewhere.- So lemme write what my brain will allow me to...

It's been a crazy semester so far...being in final year is so much more work than I imagined that it would be. I just finished the first  page of my proposal for my final project, so you can see that I've gotten basically nowhere on it. But I know that it has to be ready to mail to my supervisor before Monday...only God knows how I'm going to do that, all I know is that I will. I've got assignments left, right & hitting me on the head...I've barely even started studying... I was supposed to have a test on Thursday. Thankfully it was cancelled cos of some seminar thingy my department was organising. I have no idea if I'd have been able to do well on it. & when I don't do well on a test, it throws a lot of pressure on me for the exam cos I know I'll have to really put my back into it to knock out an A...I really hate putting pressure on myself.  So...I'm glad the test was cancelled sha. At least I know a little bit more on the course than I did last week, & when I start preparing for it, the concept of projects, programs, plans, project cycles, & all that other horse shit won't seem so foreign to me.

Damn.

But...I know it'll be aight. I'll manage. I always do. No matter  how much bitching I may be doing right now, no matter how difficult things may seem, I always find a way to make it above the line. Whether it's 70 or 89, I've learned that an A is an A. So all I need to do is shoot for it.

Sometimes I wonder to myself when academic excellence started to matter so much to me...cos...I failed my way through secondary school...like I was a total failure. My old man threatened me when I was about to write WAEC, that if I failed, he was gonna carry me to some vulcanizer or tailor or something so I could start learning a trade or something...lol...those were scary times. I think, the day things started to fall into perspective for me, was the day Le Beau spoke to me. He told me that he understood me. Probably better than anyone else did. And he knew that all I had to do, was to really want something, & then work towards getting it. & nothing could hold me back. I believed him...I didn't fail WAEC...& when I got into Uni, I put the same theory into practice...the rest is history. That's why, I know I can do what I want. As long as I really wanna do it, I can.

So I'll be fine.

I'm actually happy I wrote this blog. It's sorta like a pep talk for myself....lol.

Anyways....there's work to be done. Last weekend was just trips...parties, drinks, home-made water bongs, chics...I had, the craziest margaritta ever...damn! That drink packed one heck of a punch!

But this weekend is gonna be serious...and so is my week.

Next weekend though....!

Better be a good one... Sundays At The Bay! : "Bikini's & Water Guns." I'll definitely be there...

But for now, back to work..

Posted via Blogaway on my Android Device.

Been a minute.

It's been quite a bit since I put  up  a blog about anything sensible....I still don't  have much to say right now. I just thought I should at least write something to remind y'all of my chubby  existence.

One reason I haven't been writing much, is  that I'm trying to work on spoken word. Yes, this Panda is trying to delve into poetry. I've been really inspired by poets  like Black Ice, Shihan, J.Ivy, Rives, Sage Hasson...you can find them all on YouTube.

So, I've been  trying my hands out at that...it's somewhat difficult, but I'll get the hang of it. Right now, I've got this very........"ashewo"ish poem I'm writing...inspired by recent activities &...that's besides the point...anyways, I've got this  really long piece I'm writing...hope I'll be able to memorise it.

School's really stressful...that's all the bitching I'll be doing about it. Cos if I go on, I may not be able to stop. But I know I'll get through it...don't have a  choice

Wow...I'm falling asleep. I'll put up something sensible soon...I promise. In fact, I'm gonna put up a post on 3 artistes I'm feeling at the moment! Can't wait to finish it.

Okay bye!!!!