The End of 2009...

Time has passed, things have changed. The sun will keep rising and d moon will continue to provide light at night. And as we close our eyes and open them, we realize that not only a day has passed but a new one has come. The beginning of a new day suddenly brings forth a new year...

A new year which we may not be ready for. For are we really ready to let go of the past? To look back on the sucesses and failures of the previous day, of the previous year? And as we hear in our hearts the beckoning of a future we cannot avoid, we realize that the past is just that; the past. So we have past the point where we dilly dally, and tally in hope that what we expected to happen may still come, but we run with hope, looking forward, we take the first step...

..The first step... We have to start by not making New Year resolutions. For a new year doesn't mean a new change? Do we have to wait 365 days to make a difference? Do we have to wait 12months to decide to change 'again'? Do we have to wait a whole year to make things better? The time to change is now...We are d voice of the future...

Besides...everyone knows that New Year resolutions are made to be broken!!! They're just a token of time gone by...a false attempt to attempt to try to make a change. A long range shot at a short range target. Why go so far, when what you want sits under your nose? It could tickle your toes and you still wouldn't recognise it. STAND UP!!! Like Dizzy Rascal said; fix up, look sharp!!!

...fix up, look sharp. Smile and be happy. Be grateful to God for making u experience a new year. Leave a good legacy for whether we like it or not, there's always someone behind walking in your every step, our every move, making the same mistakes we make...

So walk with care...make sure you admit your mistakes to the one who'd learn from you. 'Cos mistakes forgotten are usually repeated. And for those waiting for you to make those mistakes, well...screw 'em. They don't matter anyways. So smile and be happy. Live life like its golden. Hold your girl/man's hand. Stand in strength, and if you fall, get your ass back up. 2010...

...2010... Let's all come together and make that change in this generation. For what we do now is what the generation we create will come to meet... 2010, the year of a positive change. Happy new year people...

By The Capoeira Panda and Olamide Odukoya...

 

2009

Hey 2009.

I must honestly say, you've been a very different sort of year. You've brought things into my life which I didn't expect, and things that I didn't think would be leaving anytime soon... I've said my good-byes to, and I guess they're gone.

 

2009.

When you first began, I didn't exactly lay out a lot of plans, didn't write a seven point agenda of what my life in you was gonna be like, there was no plan to give a 100 day progress report. All I knew was that when you came to an end, I'd have achieved a few things, and I guess some of them...I have.

 

I'm a bit closer to God than I was a year ago, and I think I've learnt about my dependence on him...

 

I've lost a little bit of weight, and my capoeira's better than it used to be.

 

My grades in school aren't too shabby... [Real thanks to God for that]

 

I'm getting to understand that cantankerous old man I call my father, just a little bit better...and to me, that's a heck of an achievement.

 

"She" and I are concretely where we need to be...

 

My friends, are still very important to me, and I think I'm just as important to them [I'd start mentioning names, but I know I'll forget to mention someone and get yelled at, so I won't call names. They sha know themselves....But, I absolutely have to give a shout-out to some of the new friends that you brought into my life 2009. Like Tolu Aiyegbusi, Dammie Adetunji [my BlackBerry], Tosin Owonibi, Melody Alabi, Yoyin Banks....

 

Ahhh....2009....2009...

Through the good and the bad, in you I've grown. My eyes have been opened, and in some ways, my heart has been closed. I've learned to live and let live, and to love without caring; there's nothing worse than losing a love because other people can't accept it. I've learnt to accept the good; I've learnt to concede my faults. Defeat doesn't mean I've been beaten, and I'll grind hard till I get what's mine [big ups Andre Blaze!!!]. Not everyone is worth the time you take out to worry about them, and holding on to anger over those kinda people is totally ridiculous. I've learnt [and I'm trying put into practice] that the truth is actually the best thing to tell. As Aurora Monyei always tells me; "The worst a person can do to you is beat you for telling them the truth".

 

2009.......

I've found strength I never knew I had, weaknesses that I thought were non-existent.

I've found my City Love, and believe me...She is crazy...Not Like Crazy kinda crazy but... You get the point...

 

2009.....

We had a good run 2009. But then, all things must come to an end. I hope I'll have an even better time with 2010, than I had with you...

 

Goodbye, 2009....

This is what boredom does

It's been a while since I put up a blog. And I know I should have a lot more to write, but I think I've been too busy to let my thoughts materialize themselves.

Anyways, I went jogging one morning very recently, and when I got back, I had a lot of questions that didn't make sense running through my head... So I decided to write them down... I don't have a reason for writing this... It just came out the way it came out.

 

If I sat on a street corner, shedding tears till I shed weight,

Would you walk on by, or stop and ask what brought about this fate?

 

If I was a soulful ballad, to opportunities long lost,

Would you listen to me and learn?? Or change the track and tell me to get lost?

 

If I was the song "I Am Not Afraid" by that lady Jill Scott,

Would you listen to me and learn to love, true and through?

 

If I was that lady with no legs, sitting near Daystar Christian Centre and you were passing by,

If I pleaded with you for alms... tell me, what would you do???

 

If I was a glass of white wine, filled halfway through,

Would you vex and call me half empty, or sip and say half full?

 

If I was like Amy Winehouse, hopelessly hooked on crack,

Would you try to help me get better, or give up and let me fade Back To Black?

 

If I was a sexy saxophone, played from the lips of John Coltrane,

Would you still rush about doing irrelevant stuff, or sit still and hear me played?

 

If you said you loved me, but I wouldn't say it to you,

Would this make you hate me, or respect me for not lying to you?

 

If I whispered in your ear, the things I'd like to do to you,

Would your mind explode, or would you calmly tell me things you'd like too?

 

If I the 31^st of December, 2009,

Would you look at me and wonder, just what you did with all 2009?

 

If I was a blind man, going down a path,

would you go outta your way just to make sure I never stray??

 

And that's what I was thinking that morning. Anyways, I think sometime today I'll take time out to write again... But for now...

B. E. Z people!

O!!! By the way, Happy Birthday to the most important human being in my life... My girlfriend, Kemi Oluboba...

In A State Of Boredom....

Ahhh.....

I’m bloody exhausted!!!! Capoeira is a really difficult martial art you know.....

Anyhow, the last few weeks have been rather interesting. So much has been going on in the world at large. Nigerians have been making so much noise over the Sony Playstation 3 advert, and the District 9 movie. What do I think of all this?? Well, I do think that the Sony ad was directly insulting, and that they should not have done what they did. I’m glad Dora Akunyili was able to sort that out.

As for District 9, here’s the basic rundown. Apparently, after the aliens landed on Earth, the people discovered that they were in love with cat food. And so, the Nigerians started selling cat food to them in exchange for alien weaponry. Also, they were running an inter-specie prostitution ring, in order to figure out how to use the alien weaponry because they needed to figure out how to use the alien weapons which would only respond to alien DNA. Well, I do think it was insulting? No, not really. Do I think the general Nigerian populace is making a big fuss out of nothing? Yes, I do. I think that any Nigerian that says they take offence at all that was said, is a total hypocrite. I mean, we all know that Nigerians could sell refrigerators in the Arctic!!!  Why is it so inconceivable that Nigerians could have been selling cat food to the aliens???!!! And then, Nigeria is known for its international prostitution rings, selling girls and children into sexual slavery, and whatnot. I think that our cry of outrage is comparable to Black Americans, who call themselves “niggas”, but are offended when white people call them that. Or like when we ALL danced to Olu Maintain’s Yahooze, which celebrates yahoo yahoo, but when there was this big show which showed Nigeria in a horrible light in relation to scamming, we all screamed out blue murder. It’s all so hypocritical. South Africans aren’t making noise about the movie, and how MNU was supposed to be a South African company, and all of that trash (for those who don’t know, District 9 was made by Peter Jackson, a big time American producer. He’s the dude who did The Lord of the Rings). I mean, the people who they called the “Nigerians” didn’t even speak any language remotely from Nigeria. They didn’t even behave in anyway Nigerian, but that’s beside the point. And as for all the talk that Nigerians are not the only ones who engage in shady activities, who really cares??? At the end of the day Jackson could have picked anybody. Like I said, I feel that the only reason we're making all the noise in the world is because some foreigners said something bad about us, which is hypocritical because we say the same bull about ourselves all the time. We even have songs that celebrate it all (sing along: maga....don pay...)The only thing that I thought was a direct slur at Nigerians was the fact that the leader of the group was called “Obasanjo”. Not that I don’t think that baba is a shady individual to put it lightly, but Jackson should have respected the fact that Obasanjo is an ex Nigerian president. But that’s my own opinion sha.

Moving on, things have been somewhat interesting, El Roi Desserts had a cake sampling session on Sunday the 27^th, I didn’t know so many people like AWOOF!!!! Kofo was there!!!! So was Laide!!!!! Kai!!!! But on the real though, it was really good. Everyone loved the Irish Cream Chocolate Cake (Bloody alcoholics!)!!!! And the Red Velvet cake was something new, I don’t think anyone there had ever heard of it, but it was really good. Everyone was asking when the next one would be. I’ve heard from a very reliable source, that another one should be coming up either at the end of November, or very early in December. I’ll let you guys know how that goes sha.

I was reading online, that Hugh Jackman stopped in the middle of his Broadway performance last night, because a phone in the audience rang. Now I have to wonder, what the hell is wrong with celebrities this month???!!! First Kanye West, now Hugh Jackman?? I mean, even Nigeria couldn’t be left out, hence P-Square’s walk out at the Arthur Guinness Show last week!!!! Na wa o!!!! I think me self, I should stage my own big publicity stunt. Maybe, I’ll go to White House in Sabo to eat, and refuse to pay!!!! That should get my adoring fans talking......

Did you guys hear about the baby born in Indonesia that weighed in at 9.2kg???!!!! Good God!!! That kid is massive! He had to be delivered by C-Section. My dad asked “how did the woman even carry a child that heavy???!!! We had a good laugh about it. Well, apparently, the mother was eating foods with too much glucose in them, thus supplying the baby with too much glucose. Resulting in his monster size!!! His name is Risudeen The Great!!! Definitely a “great” child!!!! Lol! His doctor said he’s just a greedy little guy, always eating and all. The newspaper in which I read it wasn’t even nice about it. They took a picture of a regular baby, and put it next to a picture of Risudeen. The baby boy (Risudeen) looked like a MAMMOTH!!!!

Anyways, I don’t really have so much to talk about right now...I guess I got itchy fingers, so I decided to do a bit of blogging.

 Well, I’m off to bed (it’s a lie o! I want to do “I love you, talk your own” with madam for a bit...lol)

Later!

WAEC Failure 2009!!!! Whose fault is it???

*taking a deep breath*....

Okay folks, I just read someone’s status update, and I’ve decided to do a little chat on that.

Word has it, that in the recently released WAEC/NECO examinations (I’m not precisely sure which one), 75% of the students who wrote the exam failed in Mathematics and English Language. Which goes to say, that only 25% of the thousands of students who wrote WAEC this year, were able to get the 5 credits (inclusive of Maths & English) required by universities in Nigeria (and indeed, worldwide). So, only that 25% will have a shot at entering university this year.

What seems to be the problem here? Someone would ask; is it the students that are either lazy or retarded? Or are the teachers lazy and incompetent? Or is WAEC making the exams too hard these days? Or is there sha a problem in the government somehow or the other?

This is something that I want you people to please comment on so that we can all talk about it. But first, I’d like to give my take on the issue.

First of all, we have the students. Now, being a dude that was once a student as well, I can tell you in all total confidence; that the majority of Nigerian students are downright lazy. You might ask what gives me the right to pass such judgement. Well, I was a very lazy student in secondary school. Totally and utterly lazy, (I changed my ways when I got into Uni though) failing my way through secondary school. And in all truthfulness, most of us were like that. I can honestly say that out of all of us in my class, and other classes that I observed, maybe 8% of them were actually taking school work seriously. So, by that analogy, if 25% of the people actually passed, I’d say it’s not that bad. It could actually have been worse.

As for the teachers, a good number of teachers in Nigeria are incompetent. That is true. But I don’t believe that is the case with the majority. The majority are actually competent. They know what they are doing, and they attempt to properly impart knowledge to these kids whom they stand in front of to teach (big ups to our teachers), but like I was telling my sister this morning; you can carry a donkey to the river, but after trying and trying to get it to drink water unsuccessfully, in the end it’s going to die of thirst by itself. The ones who are incompetent though, really are. And not only do they not teach our kids anything, but when examinations like WAEC come up, they actually encourage them to cheat. So yes, they deserve part of the blame as well.

WAEC. Are they making these exams harder? I have no idea because after my WAEC, I never looked at another one of their question papers again. But I do know that when it comes down to handling marking and proper coalition of results, WAEC in Nigeria is utterly described by the word incompetence. They do not handle those who mark the scripts well, they don’t pay them properly, they don’t treat them properly...and when you don’t pay a person well, what makes you imagine that the person will do a good job? In fact, I learnt from a private source, that the reason for 2008’s mass failure in WAEC, was because of WAEC’s stingy and corrupt nature. According to my source, WAEC officials, wanted to cut down on the already little amount they were spending to get the scripts marked. So to cheat our markers in Nigeria, they decided to carry the scripts to be marked in Ghana. But alas!!!! When they got to Ghana, they found that things in Ghana were better organised than in Nigeria. They would have to pay the Ghanaians by the hour (instead of per script like they would in Nigeria) at a rate which would cost them far more than it would back home. Even worse for WAEC Nigeria, they would have to put these people marking the scripts in hotels until they finished marking the scripts (i.e. they would have to provide them with accommodation and feeding)!!!!

Being the Nigerians they are, they decided to high tail all those scripts back to Nigeria. Now, here’s where kasala decided to bust. While transporting the scripts back to Nigeria by road, there was an accident, and a lot of the scripts were lost or destroyed (all na same for my eye). So instead of taking responsibility, WAEC Nigeria instead, just gave these students “Missing Result” or “F” or whatever it is they said. So, my question is; what actually happened this year???

As for the government, who always refuse to pay teachers properly, or give a proper standard for the schools to follow, I really think they deserve some beating as well.

So that’s what I think. What do you think???

A Leave Kanye (and some others) Alone Rant!!!

NA WA OH!!!!!

I’ve been hearing a lot of stuff, and reading a lot of stuff about Kanye West and his drunken mess up at the MTV VMA Award show last night. Apparently, the brother showed up to the awards, drunk out of his mind on some Hennessey, and in the middle of the show, stopped this country singer (Taylor what’s her face???) while she was supposed to be giving an acceptance speech after receiving an award, to say that Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video was the best video of the year (lo and behold, Single Ladies did win best video). Anyways, everyone is lamenting at how his behaviour was disgraceful (which it was) and how he should be ashamed of himself (which he should be) and such other things along that line. Kanye on the other hand, made a press statement this morning expressing deep regret for his actions, and apologizing sincerely for misbehaving the way he did.

Is that not enough for you people????

I don’t understand what everyone is getting their panties all in a bunch for. Will you people leave Kanye alone??? I'm not saying what he did was right, or that showing up to the awards drunk was an excuse. But come on!!!!You guys are acting like it's the first time a big celebrity has screwed up. What gives you the right to judge him??? Like none of you has messed up at some point in your lives...

Now, I’m hearing that some people are saying that fans should boycott anything that has to d with Kanye West. That seems totally ridiculous to me. Honestly speaking. And some other fanatics are complaining because some people on facebook use his picture as their profile picture. I mean, some babe was actually chastising my man Godwin Tom for using Kanye’s pic as his profile picture. What is wrong with you people??? Will you people be satisfied if...I don’t know, maybe if he was sent to jail???? At some gig like this at Fantasy Land in Ikoyi some years back, when Olisa (of Cool F.M) came on stage drunk and was insulting people, did you Lagosians make as big a fuss then as you are now with Kanye??? Decades ago, when Mary J. Blige and KC (from KC & Jojo) were in a relationship, and KC used to beat the hell out of her, did Americans complain then???

I think you guys need to relax. I remember when Chris Brown and Rihanna had their big issue. And everyone was going on and on about how people should boycott Chris, and this and that, and it looked like the kid’s career was coming to an early end. The question that I asked when I heard that he had hit her was; What happened???? Don’t get me wrong. I would NEVER support a man hitting a woman (my mama raised me really well). But in the spirit of being objective, what would make a 19 year old boy, known halfway across the world, hit a woman who is even more famous than he is, hard enough to leave a horrid bruise on her face, on the day she was supposed to perform at the Grammies (it was the Grammies right???)??? A woman whom he supposedly loves. Why would he do something so stupid??? Does Chris Brown seem like the stupid type??? I really don’t think so. So, what did this babe say to him, to push him over the top??? It’s well known that women can say some really hurtful stuff when they’re angry, and you can only push a man so far before he snaps. So what really happened??? Unless someone with first hand info can tell us what happened (such as Chris or Rihanna) it was my opinion; that people needed to shut the hell up. And forgive the boy, instead of giving him such a hard time.

Back to Mr. West.

I’m not saying what he did was right. In fact, if I were his mama, I’d slap him across the head. But that would be it. All this behaving like nobody can screw up is just messed up.

Come on....everyone screws up. Let it go. Like a friend of mine always says; “Shit happens. That’s why there’s toilet paper”.

Where's The Last One Week Go????

Hallo my dear and loyal (and perhaps non-existent) blog followers.

I’ve been playing this game on my Nintendo Wii called No More Heroes. Really crazy game this one is. Unlike most of the earlier games brought out on the Wii which everyone’s been complaining were mostly family and children’s games cos there was no violence, No More Heroes is one of the new mature games for the Wii. A lot violence and blood in the game, the dialogue in the game is also adult based, ‘cos there’s a good bit of swearing in it. The basic concept is like most violence based adventure games. You start out at the bottom of a Top 10 Assassin’s Ranking Ladder, and you have to kill your way to the top. Really interesting game if you’re interested in that sort of thing. I think it’s not half bad at all. Right now, I’m ranked Number 3. But just in case you’re wondering, that’s not all I’ve been doing all week.

Wait a second!!!! Another week has come and gone????....damn.

What happened this week anyhow???

Let’s start with Monday. Somehow or the other I don’t remember what happened. Come to think about it, I really don’t remember much about Monday or Tuesday. All I really remember was that Capoeira training on Tuesday was a lot of fun ‘cos it rained so we just played around quite a lot. School resumed on Wednesday. And for those of you who are uninformed about who I am in particular, I am not a 28 year old dude who graduated from University ages ago and does something which you really aren’t too sure about for a living. I’ve been told that I look a bit older than I actually am. So to set things straight; I’m a dude in my early twenties, in my third year in The Redeemer’s University, trying to get a B.Sc in Marketing. I still live with my father, and when I don’t have any particular hustle on (and by that I mean legitimate money making ventures) I’m quite financially dependent on him. Some might wonder why I’m going through all this explanation.

Well, the thing is, all my life; people have always thought I was older than I actually am. I have no idea why (could it be ‘cos of my size????). Classic example; when I was in JSS 2, I went for a Spirit of David concert in UNILAG with my sisters, and during the concert, some people were actually asking what department and year I was in. It’s been like that all my life. I enjoyed it at first, ‘cos I wanted to feel older than I actually was. But now, it ain’t funny no more. And to be honest, I really don’t want to be feeling like one old man.

But this wasn’t what I was talking about, was it???

I was saying how Uni resumed on Wednesday right?? It did. So I had to go start up registration. Really though, why do universities in Nigeria feel that it is their divine mandate to give their students so much bloody stress???!!! I mean, I went to school like 3 weeks earlier to pay school fees so that I wouldn’t have to go through any long long queues, but wow!!! Even with all that. But sha, I guess it didn’t turn out too bad. Then I was supposed to get my course forms signed. Lo and behold!!! None of the lecturers who should have been course form signing was around!!!! Those peoples are just donkeys’ arses!!! I’ll have to be there on Monday. Just in case you’re also wondering why I don’t just move into school, well it’s because I’m not ready for their stress just yet. I’m not ready for mosquito bites, bad food- which is also rather expensive, people disturbing my life.....basically; I’m not ready to go back to the gruelling life of being a university student.

So I went to see “her” when I got back into Lagos, and then I took her back home and went on my way....

Thursday wasn’t very eventful... went to see her and hang out for a while, then we went to my place, and then I dropped her in Gbagada and went off to UNILAG for Capoeira practice (just in case you feel like being nosy, what happened between going to see her, hanging out at my place, and then dropping her off is none of your biz).

Anyways, yesterday was Friday, and I went to see G.I.Joe at the cinema. Fantastic movie I must say. I think I want to see it again. The story wasn’t particularly as fantastic as I hoped it would be, and they did mess up on some particular facts, like Duke and the Baroness never had any kind of romance. Neither did Ripcord and Scarlett. In fact, it was Snake-Eyes, Duke and Scarlett that had this love triangle thing going on. But it was ok. The action in the movie was off the hook!!!!! The fight scene between Snake-Eyes and Shadow-Storm was something to shout about for sure. All in all, the G.I.Joe movie gets the Capoeira Panda’s Paw Print of Approval. Big ups to La’meena who took me to see it. Had fun with you babes.

So today, I was supposed to go train, hang out with friends, then go for Writer’s Anonymous. But I got to my friends’ place, saw the rain....that was the end of training (laziness is a serious problem) and then I had some yam and egusi soup which my friend’s girlfriend cooked, and I ended up with diarrhoea. Wow man, was running to the toilet like....Lest I forget, madam and I had a bit of a row because of something I forgot to do...If you’re reading this, I’m sorry again...We’re having some issues (as is the norm between us - real relationships always have problems) but we’ll work them out. We love each other too much not to.

What else??? Went for Writer’s Anonymous. It was really cool. We had this really crazy talk on the meaning of art. By the way, check out http://www.papaplatform.com/ if you get the chance.

So...nothing really big happened this week. I want to start writing for a magazine. Anyone think I’m good enough??? Gimme some encouragement if you think I can do it. Problem is though, I don’t know what I wanna be writing about, and what mag I want to write for.

Any suggestions???

Till next time followers;

Domo Arrigato Gozaimasou!!!!

Death of Writer's Block...

So I’ve decided that now, I’m gonna write, and nothing’s gonna stop me.

But man this writer’s block dey do me one kind o. It’s like I start out with this big plan of all the thigns I want to write about, but then when I start out, something just happens and puts my brain on lockdown. But enough of the whining... let’s talk about what’s been going on with me.

So....how far back should we take this??? I don’t know, maybe, I should start with some things that have changed about me...

Recently, I called up this babe that I haven’t spoken to in months. In fact, like maybe over a year. So we’re chatting, and then she goes “what’s with all this sarcastic behaviour??? Where’s the sweet guy I used to know???” and other things along that line...and I say to her “I’m not the boy you used to know...” (Sing along people). I mean, she knew me quite well at some point, at some point we were really feeling each other- never worked out though (hey, things happen). But it was really amusing how she just wouldn’t believe that I’m just not the same guy.

Anyhow...what has changed about me in recent times???

I’ve given up hanging with the Jolly Green Giant (know what I mean???) I mean like totally and totally (I really, really hope). I’m quite sure I don’t need to explain that...I have better things to do with my life than be getting “Jolly”. Funny thing is, I was chatting with someone today, and I told the person that I’d given it up. Response: “NO.........!!!!!!! Sacrilege!!! How can you abandon us???!!!!” Someone else was like: “It’s ‘her’ abi??? She’s the one making you give it up abi???” Laugh been almost wan kill me!!! But on the real, I’ve said goodbye the Jolly Green Giant. And somehow or the other, I think that’s a very good thing.

What else???

I think I’m giving up alcohol little by little (to “her” utmost joy...lol). I don’t drink spirits anymore (goodbye Vodka, Johnny, Jack and Remy.) and these days, it’s just a little bit of wine, maybe amarula, some tequila... (To “her” total displeasure...but na small small...no be so???)

I’m trying to do things right. Get closer to God (don’t go looking anyhow now o...you know we all need that), get back in shape physically; maybe lose some weight (I said maybe. Don’t hold your breath).

What, you may ask, is my reason for this extreme makeover??? I don’t know...I just think it’s time. My fat posterior ain’t getting any younger, so I guess I gotta do what I gotta do.

But moving on...The last week was just totally ridiculous... it had it’s up’s and downs you know...

I went to school on Monday to pays school fees (No be me and you go dey queue anyhow when school start o), checked out my results....man....oh man....I can only thank God....

Tuesday was my cousin’s birthday....we had a little thing at Koko Lounge which would have been fun for me if not for some stuff that happened between me and madam that day...Man...I really don’t know what I’m going to do...Me and her keep going back and forth and back and forth...the pain we go through is totally excruciating, but then...the love...(yeah I said it!!!) the love is why we just can’t leave each other... I swear if I could I would but I just can’t walk away from that babe...I mean...one time, I actually thought about hooking up with some babes that had been giving your boy the green light (yes, I’m talking in the plural), just to take my mind off her, you know, engage in some illicit activities...and I couldn’t. I just couldn’t do it. We keep going back and forth, from happy to sad, break up to make up....I don’t think I can do it anymore....

But that’s a story for another blog.

I got into an accident on Friday...Yes...another accident!!!! And this one...na me cause am o. I wasn’t looking where I was going, and I rammed into this guy driving a fresh Camry 2.2, 2000 Model!!! As I hit the guy I just start to dey cry!!! Me wey don dey cry say owu breeze been dey blow me for head!!! Which kind gbese come be this one???!!!! So I get out of the car, take a look at Dolapo, her bumper’s really banged in, the glass of one of her full lights is shattered...I start to cry...plenty money for my panel beater o.....then I work up liver to look at the Camry (CHEI!!!! I don buy market o!!!!) Guess what????

Not a scratch!

The guy first siddon for him car reach like one minute!!! (E be like say him dey calculate how he wan take brush me as I take big pass him...) Finally him commot for the car come see wetin happen. He first look me (him see say, true true I big pass him), he look my motor...he come look him car... When he don see say nothing do am, he come ask me: “What happened???” I, in a small voice which would be unexpected from a person my size, replied: “Honestly, I have no idea...” He then goes: “Well...sorry sha.” And that’s it!!!! He drives off, and I’m thinking to myself, “Mo bo lo wo won!!!!!!! Jesu!!!! Thank you o!!!! So I drive to panel beater place... the guy first give me STRONG bill for the bumper... He come talk say, to replace that glass, go be 3k5 (cost, transport, fixing.) I said ok o, but as cash no dey my hand, I go need reach bank first, so I go come back tomorrow. So I sha go my paddy place, me and madam, my boys, and my paddy wife hang out small, we come go white house go find food chop! (Man must whack!!! Abi no be so???) Some fantastic amala, ewedu and gbegiri!!!!!!!! HYOOOOOSSSSHHH!!!!!!!

Anyways....so when I tell my friends that I had accident, one of them says he knows where I can buy that glass that the panel beater said would cost me 3k5, so yesterday, we went to buy it, and guess how much I spent to buy it and get it fixed?????

N700.

I almost went mad!!!! It’s my plan in life to KILL THAT PANELBEATER!!!!!!!! The guy wan scam me!!!! God must punish him!!!!!!!!!!!

Well sha... that’s all going on right now.... I think my days of writer’s block are over.....I’ll be writing again sometime soon.

Misunderstood

It’s been a long while since I did any blogging.

I know that. I’m not gonna try to make any excuses like I’ve been really busy and school has taken over my life and all of those kinds of excuses that (while very true) you really don’t want to read. Though, if we’re a bit reasonable, I’ve had some problems in this open prison of mine. For instance, for about a week and a half, there was no electricity in my hostel, something about the gen being bad or some jazz to that effect. And then I’ve been having tests littered here and there (as I’m writing right now, I have a test coming up on Tuesday which I’m not nearly ready for, but I’ll be fine.)

Truth is,My thoughts have been too jumbled to leak out in the form of ink from my pen (or keystrokes from my laptop as the case may be).

But then, I was talking to “her” today – no, I think she sent me a text – and it came up, that I haven’t put up a blog in a bit; so I decided to grab a hold of my mind, and talk about something. But, now that I think about it, there’s something that I said I was gonna write about a while ago, and I guess there’s no better time than the present.

I was talking to a friend of mine about two weeks ago, and he asked “Dude, do I have an attitude problem?”

Now I really didn’t know how to start answering his question, because to me, he doesn’t have one. But looking through the eyes of the Average Yakubu, he probably does. Now, this dude is different from most (all my friends are) He’s rather intelligent, mature for someone his age (he’s 20)... generally, he’s a cut above the pack (I’m surrounded by people like this). He’s someone that a “normal” person his age would never be able to relate with, or understand. The truth is, me and a lot of mine have often been referred to as people with attitude problems.

Humans in general, do not like what they can’t understand.

So, this dude who’s just doing his thing, who has no patience for deliberate idiocy, can come off as a jerk now and then. I thought about this, and about how no one understands anyone. It’s amazing how people can label you, just because they feel threatened by your difference. I’ve seen friends and acquaintances, labelled in the oddest ways, while they were just being themselves.

I’m just a soul, whose intentions are good,

O Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.

So I was thinking today about Laide “exschoolnerd” Olabode, and how much bull she probably has to put up with. I think that babe is a rather intelligent person. One of us kinds of people who I’ve termed “strange but beautiful” I met her once at the Bay, but we didn’t really talk. If she’s half as interesting, witty, creative and intelligent as her regular status updates and all her notes tell me she is, then she must be a friend worth having. In fact, Laide “exschoolnerd” Olabode gets the Capoeira Panda’s Paw Print of Approval for being quite a correct babe. Anyways, I was thinking how, even though she has people telling her how funny she is, and how cool she is, she seems to me, to be just like me and most of my friends and people I hang out with; totally unfathomable to the common mind.

The common man does not like that which he cannot fathom.

I can give a long list of people who are well above the pack, who are “strange but really cool”, who have probably received (and still receive) their fair share of beef for it. Remi Olutimayin, Mujib Waziri, Demola Sadiq, Amos Akpokabayen, Nnamdi Obanya, Godwin Tom, Bally Akogun, my sister Funmi, Laide “exschoolnerd” Olabode, my cousin Mary Jay, Tosyn Bucknor...people I like to term Creatives...this list goes on.

(Note: Some names mentioned above, are there ‘cos I feel some strange form of kinship with them, not ‘cos I actually know what’s going on in their lives.)

I feel like writing a poem.

Knowing me, knowing you.
Knowing me, knowing you...
Abba must not have known what they were talking about.
But then, do white folk ever really know what they’re talking about?
And that’s what I’m talking about,
The difficulty involved in people understanding what the other person is really about.

Knowing me, knowing you...
We wander from pillar to post,
Trying to gather the most information we can about each other
We say we wanna get to know each other
But how come, at the end of the day,
No one ever understands the other???

Knowing me, knowing you...
Get wisdom, but in all your getting, get understanding.
But you don’t really understand me.
‘Cos if you did, you’d know that I’m just a black man standing,
Under the rain, in pain so intense that...
To a reasonable mind, wouldn’t ever make sense
& from whence this pain came, I’ve long since ceased to remember.
& it might not just be me... I think this is spread across the races and genders.

Knowing me, knowing you...
In the words of the great late Bernie Mac;
“You don’t understand”
& from where I’m standing, we never will.
So there ain’t ever gonna be peace in the Middle East,
A time where the wars will actually cease and desist
A time where people will live as one,
As sister and brother under God’s yellow sun...
Till a time where our weapons of mass destruction will have us all undone...
When we’ll look for sanctuary but yet find none...

Knowing me, knowing you...
So yeah; you don’t understand...
& neither does society,
So they take a look at us in sobriety
 & call us social deviants...
‘Cos we refuse to live in what they’d call propriety???
So they call us crazy, insane...misfits.
Unfit for social consumption
& in everything we’d like to think, say or do publicly,
They’re right there with a polite, yet uncivil interruption.
They say our ideas promote conflict.
Tell me how this even begins to fit???

Knowing me, knowing you...
Man fears what they don’t understand
So I and those like me with preternatural minds understand
That even when everyone acts like they like our difference
They can’t really grasp it.
They go from calling us different, to weird, to plain old absurd.
And the true word is that we don’t really care.
Because you see, like it or not, I’m still here
And I’ll bear whatever you throw.
I’ll go if it’s necessary, but in everything you do, 
Every mundane task, you’ll remember me.

I brought spice into your life, salt into your stew
And even though I needed you, just as you need me now,
The only true company I enjoy is not found amongst you.
Can’t we all just get along???
 I guess not.
I don’t know you, you don’t know me.
Knowing me, knowing you.

Alone

It's been a while since I wrote anything ain't it people??? I didn't mean to leave you (probably non-existent followers of my blog) alone, it's just that I've been kinda busy(plus I've not really had much to tell...). But, recently, I've been looking through my poem book, and I've decided to share one or two of them with you.

I wrote this one, at a time where I was going through some soul searching, and a lot of my true friends, the people who are most important to me, and think like me, where not around.

Alone

I want to be as free as a spirit.
A man with no limits,
Pick up a pen and a pad; put things down how I see them.
Not hindered by laws of what should be and what should not,
Or locked down by another person’s train of thought.

To understand how I must live, what it is I must give,
Or take up.
To realize where I’m asleep,
And if I have to wake up.
To carry the world of my thoughts on my shoulders
Like a regular atlas.
And without those of my kind,
Who understand my type of mind,
Without the comfort of souls to which I can bind,

I find that I am alone.

But if this is how I must live,
The sacrifice I must give,
For my eyes to start to see,
To become the man I need to be,
So at the end of all this, my life doesn’t fade into superfluity,
If I must shoulder this burden all on my own,
Then truly, to become a man,
I first must stand alone.

xxii.x.mmvi

Looking Within

There’s a song I’ve been looking for, for at least, two years. I had no idea what it was called, or who sang it. All I knew was that I’d seen the video a lot on MTV but I just was always enjoying it too much to actually look at the details. All I knew was a snatch of the chorus.
I asked all my big music lover friends. Always just singing the little bit of the chorus that I knew, and hoping that someone would recognise what I was looking for.

But no one knew it.

I've picked up a lot of music from my friends in the last couple of months, and I hadn’t listened to a lot of it. So two days ago, trying to get my mind off some stuff which I don’t feel talking about right now, I decided to just listen to something different. So I put on these guys called Mattafix. I listened to a song called “Big City Life” from their album “Signs of a Struggle”. I liked it, so I decided to listen to the whole album. Track four comes on; and it’s the song I’ve been looking for!!! Right there, on my laptop. The last place I’d ever have thought to look. The song is called “To & Fro”. For two years I’ve been trying to find this song and where do I finally find it???

On my laptop.

It was so very ironic, that it got me thinking.
We go from place to place, from pillar to post. Looking for whatever it is we think is important. And a lot of the time, it’s right there staring us in the face. Or sitting right there in our laps. And we go “To and Fro”, thinking maybe we’ll find it here, or maybe we’ll find it there. And we hurt ourselves or get hurt by someone when we don’t find it. Or we find what bears a semblance to what we’re looking for, and we throw ourselves into getting it, only to find that it’s not what we were looking for in the first place.

Sometimes, we don’t even know what it is that we’re looking for. All we know is that like John Mayer said: “Something’s...missing, and I don’t know how to fix it."

Maybe we need to stop looking to others to give us what we want. ‘Cos if we don’t know what we want, how can someone else give it to you??? Maybe we need to look to ourselves for the answers. Maybe we already have what we need. I told a friend of mine, that before you can be loved by anyone else, you need to be able to love yourself. And then love will come find you.

So, I don’t even know if there’s a moral to this story. I think it’s just that – the answer to most problems we have lies in us. And there’s no need to run around killing ourselves looking for something we can provide for ourselves.

Look inside.

Or maybe, I’m just really happy I found this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGOGbdXXxYY

Back To The Tribulation Of Higher Education

I’m supposed to be packing up to go to school o...but I’m just tired.

I have no idea how to do it right. I always do something wrong. Pack too much, don’t pack enough stuff, and forget some important stuff, that sort of thing. If I continue like this, it’s obvious I’m not gonna be going to school today, which “she” and my mum have made it quite clear that they don’t approve of. I’m starting to wonder if the both of them aren’t calling each other to decide how best to make me do whatever they want me to. My mum says something, then I’m talking to her, and she says the same thing, and vice – versa. And they’ve both been going on about my not going back to school.

It’s not like I don’t want to go to school. There are a couple of reasons why I should... There’s so much wahala involved in staying in this house, for instance, with my old man. The dude gives me enough stress to give a donkey a heart attack. But then, I’ve decided that having a father like him is God’s way of teaching me patience. And besides, when I think about it, he’s not all bad... I mean, he did take us out for some really nice Chinese food at the Sunrise Chinese Restaurant yesterday.

And about the Sunrise Restaurant; the place ain’t that bad. In fact it was quite good. Small and cozy, the waiters were rather well mannered, the food was served promptly, and the food was good. Yeah, the food was really nice. And it wasn’t such a pocket burner too. I think I can give the Sunrise Chinese Restaurant the Capoeira Panda’s very first “Paw Print of Approval”.

Anyways, so my old man ain’t so bad (even though he can be quite annoying sometimes). I should go back to school. “She” has exams and my presence is really quite a distraction. She didn’t distract me when I had exams so I guess it’s only fair that I return the favour don’t you think???

But then I really don’t wanna go back to school. To the hustle and bustle involved in it all. No water, no light a lot of the time, it’s bloody hot as well. We have to walk everywhere, or wait for the school bus, or take a shuttle bus, which I hate as much as I hate taking Danfo in Lagos!!! And the food is nothing short of CRAP!!!! Any RUN students agree???

And to top it off, we’re caged like animals. Not literally, like they actually throw us in cages, but mentally. With all their silly rules which we cannot protest ‘cos we’ve come to see that we actually have no rights at all (violation will result in premature graduation). So you have students trying to be who they’re not, living false lives... it’s just so irritating. It’s like being in an open prison. You can walk around, but you can’t go anywhere you actually want to. When I’m there I always feel totally imprisoned. I can’t do anything. Sometimes I just want to scream my throat out ‘cos I’m tied up in my mind and I can’t find a way to break loose, and I want to run. Just run till there’s no strength left in my legs. So I leave when I can, and delay going back as long as I reasonably can.

Anyways so I should go, but I really don’t want to. Besides, there’s nothing happening in school just yet. Classes won’t really start fully till next week and all of that. I’ve already done registration and collected my course forms, so no 10k late registration fee. But I’m sha packing to go. And I HATE PACKING!!! I just don’t know how to do it. I never get it right. I pack wrong,

I never organize properly...I know I’m going on and on about how much I hate packing but...I really do hate packing...like I said, I have to marry a wife who knows how to pack properly, so when I want to travel, she’ll help me pack. Maybe I should’ve asked ‘her’ to come over and help me do some packing. She says she’s not too bad at it.

Am I just being lazy and irresponsible??? Or am I taking too many chances??? I don’t know joh... I just really want to sleep o....

Homophobia - Are We Taking It Too Far???

A funny thing happened this evening. One of my boys sent me a text saying “tell me how your day was.” When I saw this text, the first thing that came to my mind was “okay, maybe he mistakenly sent it to me instead of some babe.” So I call him back and he says he actually sent it to me. Was there anything wrong with him asking about how his friend’s day had gone??? No there wasn’t. As a matter of fact, there was a time when we would generally gist on the phone for like one hour (Starcomms free weekend calls) and I’d tell him what was going on and all of that. Generally just boys’ gist. But this...felt different. I felt like, you don’t send a message to a guy asking him to send you a text telling you how his day was do you (if you’re a guy). It just felt very...gay.

Then I realized what it was. Homophobia.

I’m a rather homophobic individual. The idea of homosexuality scares (and also irritates) the hell outta me. But why, would it be gay for a friend to send a text asking ‘bout how you’re doing?
What has become the world standard on what is gay and what is not? These days, friendly and innocent behaviour between two guys can be termed “gay”. What’s going on with us guys???

The Things She Doesn't Know

She doesn’t like swear words. In fact, she detests them completely.

I know that. I’ve always known that. And I’ve always kept my tongue in control. Not only around her, but generally as well. So in my last blog, where I threw in some foul language, she was very upset about it.

Here’s what was crazy about it. It’s not that she was just upset about it. I feel like the way she’s feeling transcends her anger, and she feels more like she doesn’t know me. It’s like she feels I’ve been hiding stuff from her in the last year in which we’ve known each other.

And that’s the topic for the day; Secrets.

When a guy meets a babe and vice – versa, do they let the person see everything – I mean literally everything – about themselves from the very beginning? Or do they break it to the person bit by bit? I mean, with this right now, it’s not like I was trying to hide foul language from her, it was a case of her not liking something, and me not doing it so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable. Was I hiding it from her? I don’t really know.

I’ve tried to let her know everything about me. From other women, to bad habits I’ve gone through in my life, to... everything. But swearing??? It just seemed so completely inconsequential, so insignificant that I really didn’t think it mattered. Like, I have rather serious control over what I say. I think so much before I say anything that it’s kinda hard for words to just blurt right outta my mouth, especially words which I don’t want to come out (even though it does happen on occasion.

Should I have told her sometime in the last one year, “Hey babes, I’m given to swearing on occasion, even though I have it totally under control”??? What would’ve been the point? And then when she confronted me about it, I made this dumb excuse “when I’m angry I really can’t control what I say.” That’s a big lie!! I always control what I say, no matter how upset I am. The truth is, I just wanted to let out, and so I allowed myself to swear.

Back to the topic.

What happens when there are some things that you do, which you don’t want the significant other in your life to know about??? For instance, I have a friend who smokes, he’s trying to quit, but he meets this girl, who later becomes his woman. And when she asks if he smokes (she don’t like guys that smoke); he says no. Now the logic behind this for him was, he’s trying to quit. So it shouldn’t matter. And in a little bit, he actually does quit smoking. Was he wrong? Should he have told her yes, he smoked but was quitting??? He would’ve lost the girl. Would that have been the ‘right’ thing to do???

I’ve always been of the opinion that, there should be totally nothing about myself that I can’t tell the woman in my life. But, there are some things that are totally unnecessary for her to know. What if it’s something that totally does not matter???

But maybe, it’s better for your significant other to know everything about you. I woke up this morning feeling horrible ‘cos I kept remembering the way she sounded over the phone. Like she realized she was talking to a person she didn’t know at all. And that kinda hurt.

But still, the argument still goes in my head; what good would it have done??? And even though I still feel it wouldn’t have done any good, why do I feel so crappy???

I guess it's not only what you don't know that can hurt you. What you don't tell can hurt you as well...

Man... Guess it’s just me and my life huh???

So now, I’ve sat here blogging for the sake of blogging. Just to be able to let out how I feel right now. I don’t know... I guess we’ll sort it out... Somehow...

The Capoeira Panda Pops His (blogging) Cherry.

So this is like my first blog ever. I heard I’m just supposed to write out whatever simply hits my mind and on any particular topic. Guess I could try it.

The reason why I named my blog “Searching for Words” is because that’s how I am a lot of the time. I’m trying to bring up the words on some topic, but my mouth is simply not working as fast as my brain. So I just might be thinking a whole lot of things, but I never say them because by the time I open my mouth, those thoughts are gone and I’m left looking rather stupid with my mouth just hanging open and I’m not saying nothing.

Crazy huh?

So right now, I’m typing out my blog on Microsoft Word, ‘cos there’s no light and I won’t be able to post it up for a bit. Isn’t it so annoying what NEPA – I’m sorry, PHCN is doing to us? They just consistently screw up everything we try to do. Like, I was trying to download some Bleach Manga (yes, I’m a manga and anime fan), was about 52megs, and at 50megs, lights out. And I’m left spitting out curses like; “May the fleas of a thousand camels infest you peoples’ private parts!!!!!!” Damn. So right now I’m typing this out and it’s like, 8:48am but I have no idea when it’s gonna go up on BlogSpot ‘cos there’s no way I’m gonna be putting on the gen just to post this up (sorry). So yeah, I’m not really having a good day. Dolapo (my car) is at the mechanic. And I’ve been told she’s gotta go through some surgery which I really can’t afford right now (clutch burnt, gear box damaged...that kind of stuff). And I’m mad as hell. Why you may ask??? Because dear reader, this damage was not brought about by myself, but by my darling sister and cousin!!!! And how did this happen??? Before I went back to school in January, I told my sis to leave the car alone, because the gear shift was giving problems, and if a person didn’t know that, they might keep shifting it into 3 instead of 1 which would of course, fry the clutch. I practically begged!!!! But did she listen???

Nope! She (in an effort to indemnify herself from responsibility) gave the car to my cousin MaryJ to drive, without telling MJ what was going on with Dolapo. MJ then proceeded to fry Dolapo’s clutch a bit, I come back home, and my sis is going on about how MJ is supposed to be a very good driver and this hadn’t happened when my dad’s driver had taken the car out and how come this happened when it was MJ that took the car out and just a whole lot of crapthat was supposed to make it not her fault. And I’m not even ready to start yelling at her like I should but man what the hell!!!! This is some old nonsense!!! Now thanks to her I’m the one suffering!!! I’m always suffering for this kinda crap. Even when it’s not my fault. Anyways, so I’ve been taking Dolapo around, trying to manage her as I do what I do (you know how I do) and then she starts giving me issues so I take her to Oga Femi(mechanic) for regular servicing, and he tells me all of this wahala is going on with Dolly. So what can I do? So I go to the old man and he, like the annoying man he usually knows how to be, proceeds to give me hell before he’ll help me out. I’ve never understood why he has to be like that all the time. Now he’s delayed me for like 3 hours, which will take a king sized bite outta my time so I’ll end up not being able to see “her” today, which I’d really like to do ‘cos I didn’t see her yesterday, and I saved some chops from last night’s dinner that my mama had.

So now, I’m sitting here, waiting for him to sha answer me and lemme get all this sorted out, I’m blogging and “she” flashes me. Now I want to talk to her, I really do. But I’m wondering if maybe I’m really a distraction that she doesn’t need in her life right now. She has exams going on and she promised me that she’d make me proud this semester so I don’t wanna be the reason she doesn’t fulfil her promise. In law I believe that would be called a ‘tender of performance’ right law students??? I know I was listening during my Business Law classes. Plus, there’s some other stuff going on with us that I really don’t know how to handle. And neither does she and it’s really screwing things up with her, with me... with us. But... “she” is a topic for another day I guess. Right now I have to sort out how I’m gonna get Dolly fixed up.

And my boy Slim just called and asked if I wanna be in a music video. Good old Capoeira style. From the name I’m sure you can tell that I’m into Capoeira right? And the story behind calling me “The Capoeira Panda” will be brought to light some other time. Anyways, ‘bout that video... wonder if I’ll be able to do it. Would be nice to be able to say “look mommy, mommy I’m on T.V!!!”

But let’s see how things go shall we??? So I’ll be posting this on BlogSpot ASAP, and y’all can lemme know what you think. Wonder if my blog will ever be as popular as Speechgirl’s... I’m sort of a fan of her by the way....

So... The Capoeira Panda has officially popped his (blogging) cherry. Hope this goes well. Maybe I’ll write something tonight (depends on how I feel).

Till next time my (maybe non – existent) readers. Domo Arrigato Gozaimasu!!!!!