In A State Of Boredom....

Ahhh.....

I’m bloody exhausted!!!! Capoeira is a really difficult martial art you know.....

Anyhow, the last few weeks have been rather interesting. So much has been going on in the world at large. Nigerians have been making so much noise over the Sony Playstation 3 advert, and the District 9 movie. What do I think of all this?? Well, I do think that the Sony ad was directly insulting, and that they should not have done what they did. I’m glad Dora Akunyili was able to sort that out.

As for District 9, here’s the basic rundown. Apparently, after the aliens landed on Earth, the people discovered that they were in love with cat food. And so, the Nigerians started selling cat food to them in exchange for alien weaponry. Also, they were running an inter-specie prostitution ring, in order to figure out how to use the alien weaponry because they needed to figure out how to use the alien weapons which would only respond to alien DNA. Well, I do think it was insulting? No, not really. Do I think the general Nigerian populace is making a big fuss out of nothing? Yes, I do. I think that any Nigerian that says they take offence at all that was said, is a total hypocrite. I mean, we all know that Nigerians could sell refrigerators in the Arctic!!!  Why is it so inconceivable that Nigerians could have been selling cat food to the aliens???!!! And then, Nigeria is known for its international prostitution rings, selling girls and children into sexual slavery, and whatnot. I think that our cry of outrage is comparable to Black Americans, who call themselves “niggas”, but are offended when white people call them that. Or like when we ALL danced to Olu Maintain’s Yahooze, which celebrates yahoo yahoo, but when there was this big show which showed Nigeria in a horrible light in relation to scamming, we all screamed out blue murder. It’s all so hypocritical. South Africans aren’t making noise about the movie, and how MNU was supposed to be a South African company, and all of that trash (for those who don’t know, District 9 was made by Peter Jackson, a big time American producer. He’s the dude who did The Lord of the Rings). I mean, the people who they called the “Nigerians” didn’t even speak any language remotely from Nigeria. They didn’t even behave in anyway Nigerian, but that’s beside the point. And as for all the talk that Nigerians are not the only ones who engage in shady activities, who really cares??? At the end of the day Jackson could have picked anybody. Like I said, I feel that the only reason we're making all the noise in the world is because some foreigners said something bad about us, which is hypocritical because we say the same bull about ourselves all the time. We even have songs that celebrate it all (sing along: maga....don pay...)The only thing that I thought was a direct slur at Nigerians was the fact that the leader of the group was called “Obasanjo”. Not that I don’t think that baba is a shady individual to put it lightly, but Jackson should have respected the fact that Obasanjo is an ex Nigerian president. But that’s my own opinion sha.

Moving on, things have been somewhat interesting, El Roi Desserts had a cake sampling session on Sunday the 27^th, I didn’t know so many people like AWOOF!!!! Kofo was there!!!! So was Laide!!!!! Kai!!!! But on the real though, it was really good. Everyone loved the Irish Cream Chocolate Cake (Bloody alcoholics!)!!!! And the Red Velvet cake was something new, I don’t think anyone there had ever heard of it, but it was really good. Everyone was asking when the next one would be. I’ve heard from a very reliable source, that another one should be coming up either at the end of November, or very early in December. I’ll let you guys know how that goes sha.

I was reading online, that Hugh Jackman stopped in the middle of his Broadway performance last night, because a phone in the audience rang. Now I have to wonder, what the hell is wrong with celebrities this month???!!! First Kanye West, now Hugh Jackman?? I mean, even Nigeria couldn’t be left out, hence P-Square’s walk out at the Arthur Guinness Show last week!!!! Na wa o!!!! I think me self, I should stage my own big publicity stunt. Maybe, I’ll go to White House in Sabo to eat, and refuse to pay!!!! That should get my adoring fans talking......

Did you guys hear about the baby born in Indonesia that weighed in at 9.2kg???!!!! Good God!!! That kid is massive! He had to be delivered by C-Section. My dad asked “how did the woman even carry a child that heavy???!!! We had a good laugh about it. Well, apparently, the mother was eating foods with too much glucose in them, thus supplying the baby with too much glucose. Resulting in his monster size!!! His name is Risudeen The Great!!! Definitely a “great” child!!!! Lol! His doctor said he’s just a greedy little guy, always eating and all. The newspaper in which I read it wasn’t even nice about it. They took a picture of a regular baby, and put it next to a picture of Risudeen. The baby boy (Risudeen) looked like a MAMMOTH!!!!

Anyways, I don’t really have so much to talk about right now...I guess I got itchy fingers, so I decided to do a bit of blogging.

 Well, I’m off to bed (it’s a lie o! I want to do “I love you, talk your own” with madam for a bit...lol)

Later!

WAEC Failure 2009!!!! Whose fault is it???

*taking a deep breath*....

Okay folks, I just read someone’s status update, and I’ve decided to do a little chat on that.

Word has it, that in the recently released WAEC/NECO examinations (I’m not precisely sure which one), 75% of the students who wrote the exam failed in Mathematics and English Language. Which goes to say, that only 25% of the thousands of students who wrote WAEC this year, were able to get the 5 credits (inclusive of Maths & English) required by universities in Nigeria (and indeed, worldwide). So, only that 25% will have a shot at entering university this year.

What seems to be the problem here? Someone would ask; is it the students that are either lazy or retarded? Or are the teachers lazy and incompetent? Or is WAEC making the exams too hard these days? Or is there sha a problem in the government somehow or the other?

This is something that I want you people to please comment on so that we can all talk about it. But first, I’d like to give my take on the issue.

First of all, we have the students. Now, being a dude that was once a student as well, I can tell you in all total confidence; that the majority of Nigerian students are downright lazy. You might ask what gives me the right to pass such judgement. Well, I was a very lazy student in secondary school. Totally and utterly lazy, (I changed my ways when I got into Uni though) failing my way through secondary school. And in all truthfulness, most of us were like that. I can honestly say that out of all of us in my class, and other classes that I observed, maybe 8% of them were actually taking school work seriously. So, by that analogy, if 25% of the people actually passed, I’d say it’s not that bad. It could actually have been worse.

As for the teachers, a good number of teachers in Nigeria are incompetent. That is true. But I don’t believe that is the case with the majority. The majority are actually competent. They know what they are doing, and they attempt to properly impart knowledge to these kids whom they stand in front of to teach (big ups to our teachers), but like I was telling my sister this morning; you can carry a donkey to the river, but after trying and trying to get it to drink water unsuccessfully, in the end it’s going to die of thirst by itself. The ones who are incompetent though, really are. And not only do they not teach our kids anything, but when examinations like WAEC come up, they actually encourage them to cheat. So yes, they deserve part of the blame as well.

WAEC. Are they making these exams harder? I have no idea because after my WAEC, I never looked at another one of their question papers again. But I do know that when it comes down to handling marking and proper coalition of results, WAEC in Nigeria is utterly described by the word incompetence. They do not handle those who mark the scripts well, they don’t pay them properly, they don’t treat them properly...and when you don’t pay a person well, what makes you imagine that the person will do a good job? In fact, I learnt from a private source, that the reason for 2008’s mass failure in WAEC, was because of WAEC’s stingy and corrupt nature. According to my source, WAEC officials, wanted to cut down on the already little amount they were spending to get the scripts marked. So to cheat our markers in Nigeria, they decided to carry the scripts to be marked in Ghana. But alas!!!! When they got to Ghana, they found that things in Ghana were better organised than in Nigeria. They would have to pay the Ghanaians by the hour (instead of per script like they would in Nigeria) at a rate which would cost them far more than it would back home. Even worse for WAEC Nigeria, they would have to put these people marking the scripts in hotels until they finished marking the scripts (i.e. they would have to provide them with accommodation and feeding)!!!!

Being the Nigerians they are, they decided to high tail all those scripts back to Nigeria. Now, here’s where kasala decided to bust. While transporting the scripts back to Nigeria by road, there was an accident, and a lot of the scripts were lost or destroyed (all na same for my eye). So instead of taking responsibility, WAEC Nigeria instead, just gave these students “Missing Result” or “F” or whatever it is they said. So, my question is; what actually happened this year???

As for the government, who always refuse to pay teachers properly, or give a proper standard for the schools to follow, I really think they deserve some beating as well.

So that’s what I think. What do you think???

A Leave Kanye (and some others) Alone Rant!!!

NA WA OH!!!!!

I’ve been hearing a lot of stuff, and reading a lot of stuff about Kanye West and his drunken mess up at the MTV VMA Award show last night. Apparently, the brother showed up to the awards, drunk out of his mind on some Hennessey, and in the middle of the show, stopped this country singer (Taylor what’s her face???) while she was supposed to be giving an acceptance speech after receiving an award, to say that Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video was the best video of the year (lo and behold, Single Ladies did win best video). Anyways, everyone is lamenting at how his behaviour was disgraceful (which it was) and how he should be ashamed of himself (which he should be) and such other things along that line. Kanye on the other hand, made a press statement this morning expressing deep regret for his actions, and apologizing sincerely for misbehaving the way he did.

Is that not enough for you people????

I don’t understand what everyone is getting their panties all in a bunch for. Will you people leave Kanye alone??? I'm not saying what he did was right, or that showing up to the awards drunk was an excuse. But come on!!!!You guys are acting like it's the first time a big celebrity has screwed up. What gives you the right to judge him??? Like none of you has messed up at some point in your lives...

Now, I’m hearing that some people are saying that fans should boycott anything that has to d with Kanye West. That seems totally ridiculous to me. Honestly speaking. And some other fanatics are complaining because some people on facebook use his picture as their profile picture. I mean, some babe was actually chastising my man Godwin Tom for using Kanye’s pic as his profile picture. What is wrong with you people??? Will you people be satisfied if...I don’t know, maybe if he was sent to jail???? At some gig like this at Fantasy Land in Ikoyi some years back, when Olisa (of Cool F.M) came on stage drunk and was insulting people, did you Lagosians make as big a fuss then as you are now with Kanye??? Decades ago, when Mary J. Blige and KC (from KC & Jojo) were in a relationship, and KC used to beat the hell out of her, did Americans complain then???

I think you guys need to relax. I remember when Chris Brown and Rihanna had their big issue. And everyone was going on and on about how people should boycott Chris, and this and that, and it looked like the kid’s career was coming to an early end. The question that I asked when I heard that he had hit her was; What happened???? Don’t get me wrong. I would NEVER support a man hitting a woman (my mama raised me really well). But in the spirit of being objective, what would make a 19 year old boy, known halfway across the world, hit a woman who is even more famous than he is, hard enough to leave a horrid bruise on her face, on the day she was supposed to perform at the Grammies (it was the Grammies right???)??? A woman whom he supposedly loves. Why would he do something so stupid??? Does Chris Brown seem like the stupid type??? I really don’t think so. So, what did this babe say to him, to push him over the top??? It’s well known that women can say some really hurtful stuff when they’re angry, and you can only push a man so far before he snaps. So what really happened??? Unless someone with first hand info can tell us what happened (such as Chris or Rihanna) it was my opinion; that people needed to shut the hell up. And forgive the boy, instead of giving him such a hard time.

Back to Mr. West.

I’m not saying what he did was right. In fact, if I were his mama, I’d slap him across the head. But that would be it. All this behaving like nobody can screw up is just messed up.

Come on....everyone screws up. Let it go. Like a friend of mine always says; “Shit happens. That’s why there’s toilet paper”.

Where's The Last One Week Go????

Hallo my dear and loyal (and perhaps non-existent) blog followers.

I’ve been playing this game on my Nintendo Wii called No More Heroes. Really crazy game this one is. Unlike most of the earlier games brought out on the Wii which everyone’s been complaining were mostly family and children’s games cos there was no violence, No More Heroes is one of the new mature games for the Wii. A lot violence and blood in the game, the dialogue in the game is also adult based, ‘cos there’s a good bit of swearing in it. The basic concept is like most violence based adventure games. You start out at the bottom of a Top 10 Assassin’s Ranking Ladder, and you have to kill your way to the top. Really interesting game if you’re interested in that sort of thing. I think it’s not half bad at all. Right now, I’m ranked Number 3. But just in case you’re wondering, that’s not all I’ve been doing all week.

Wait a second!!!! Another week has come and gone????....damn.

What happened this week anyhow???

Let’s start with Monday. Somehow or the other I don’t remember what happened. Come to think about it, I really don’t remember much about Monday or Tuesday. All I really remember was that Capoeira training on Tuesday was a lot of fun ‘cos it rained so we just played around quite a lot. School resumed on Wednesday. And for those of you who are uninformed about who I am in particular, I am not a 28 year old dude who graduated from University ages ago and does something which you really aren’t too sure about for a living. I’ve been told that I look a bit older than I actually am. So to set things straight; I’m a dude in my early twenties, in my third year in The Redeemer’s University, trying to get a B.Sc in Marketing. I still live with my father, and when I don’t have any particular hustle on (and by that I mean legitimate money making ventures) I’m quite financially dependent on him. Some might wonder why I’m going through all this explanation.

Well, the thing is, all my life; people have always thought I was older than I actually am. I have no idea why (could it be ‘cos of my size????). Classic example; when I was in JSS 2, I went for a Spirit of David concert in UNILAG with my sisters, and during the concert, some people were actually asking what department and year I was in. It’s been like that all my life. I enjoyed it at first, ‘cos I wanted to feel older than I actually was. But now, it ain’t funny no more. And to be honest, I really don’t want to be feeling like one old man.

But this wasn’t what I was talking about, was it???

I was saying how Uni resumed on Wednesday right?? It did. So I had to go start up registration. Really though, why do universities in Nigeria feel that it is their divine mandate to give their students so much bloody stress???!!! I mean, I went to school like 3 weeks earlier to pay school fees so that I wouldn’t have to go through any long long queues, but wow!!! Even with all that. But sha, I guess it didn’t turn out too bad. Then I was supposed to get my course forms signed. Lo and behold!!! None of the lecturers who should have been course form signing was around!!!! Those peoples are just donkeys’ arses!!! I’ll have to be there on Monday. Just in case you’re also wondering why I don’t just move into school, well it’s because I’m not ready for their stress just yet. I’m not ready for mosquito bites, bad food- which is also rather expensive, people disturbing my life.....basically; I’m not ready to go back to the gruelling life of being a university student.

So I went to see “her” when I got back into Lagos, and then I took her back home and went on my way....

Thursday wasn’t very eventful... went to see her and hang out for a while, then we went to my place, and then I dropped her in Gbagada and went off to UNILAG for Capoeira practice (just in case you feel like being nosy, what happened between going to see her, hanging out at my place, and then dropping her off is none of your biz).

Anyways, yesterday was Friday, and I went to see G.I.Joe at the cinema. Fantastic movie I must say. I think I want to see it again. The story wasn’t particularly as fantastic as I hoped it would be, and they did mess up on some particular facts, like Duke and the Baroness never had any kind of romance. Neither did Ripcord and Scarlett. In fact, it was Snake-Eyes, Duke and Scarlett that had this love triangle thing going on. But it was ok. The action in the movie was off the hook!!!!! The fight scene between Snake-Eyes and Shadow-Storm was something to shout about for sure. All in all, the G.I.Joe movie gets the Capoeira Panda’s Paw Print of Approval. Big ups to La’meena who took me to see it. Had fun with you babes.

So today, I was supposed to go train, hang out with friends, then go for Writer’s Anonymous. But I got to my friends’ place, saw the rain....that was the end of training (laziness is a serious problem) and then I had some yam and egusi soup which my friend’s girlfriend cooked, and I ended up with diarrhoea. Wow man, was running to the toilet like....Lest I forget, madam and I had a bit of a row because of something I forgot to do...If you’re reading this, I’m sorry again...We’re having some issues (as is the norm between us - real relationships always have problems) but we’ll work them out. We love each other too much not to.

What else??? Went for Writer’s Anonymous. It was really cool. We had this really crazy talk on the meaning of art. By the way, check out http://www.papaplatform.com/ if you get the chance.

So...nothing really big happened this week. I want to start writing for a magazine. Anyone think I’m good enough??? Gimme some encouragement if you think I can do it. Problem is though, I don’t know what I wanna be writing about, and what mag I want to write for.

Any suggestions???

Till next time followers;

Domo Arrigato Gozaimasou!!!!